“I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but I will let you see me, and I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you. Truly, deeply, seeing you.”
I had a moment recently where I found myself questioning my success as a parent. My 6 year-old son did something that I wasn’t proud of. I sat him down to point out what I expected differently from him. I’m not sure it sank in. I felt like I was failing at something.
It’s funny that we spend so much time trying to be better parents while also constantly reminding ourselves that “perfect” is not attainable and we need to cut ourselves a little slack. So, which is it: strive for being the best parent imaginable or allow ourselves to just be? We spend so much time looking outward for the answer, we forget about looking inward.
This parenting thing is ridiculous. As our readers know, we are trying to work through the pressures of parenting perfection and see the glory of being a mom for what it’s worth.
Around the same time as I was stabbing myself in the heart for not having created the most wonderful, perfect child because he isn’t living with full compassion and empathy by 6 years old, I decided to start reading Daring Greatly since it’s been sitting on my nightstand FOREVER. Total disclosure: I think I have a huge crush on Brené Brown – but that’s not important at the moment.
There is so much I can say about this book or about the author in general, but this Manifesto is what I really wanted to share.
This is how I want to parent and hold myself accountable. I will not be directed or shamed by Pinterest, Facebook posts showing parenting perfection, articles upon articles of exceptional parents and children, glares from other moms at school or anything else.
This is my manifesto as a parent and this is how I will lead my little people into the world.
Thank you Brené Brown!
Here is the text:
The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto by Brené Brown
Above all else, I want you to know that you are loved and lovable. You will learn this from my words and actions–the lessons on love are in how I treat you and how I treat myself.
I want you to engage with the world from a place of worthiness. You will learn that you are worthy of love, belonging, and joy every time you see me practice self-compassion and embrace my own imperfections.
We will practice courage in our family by showing up, letting ourselves be seen, and honoring vulnerability. We will share our stories of struggle and strength. There will always be room in our home for both.
We will teach you compassion by practicing compassion with ourselves first; then with each other. We will set and respect boundaries; we will honor hard work, hope, and perseverance. Rest and play will be family values, as well as family practices.
You will learn accountability and respect by watching me make mistakes and make amends, and by watching how I ask for what I need and talk about how I feel.
I want you to know joy, so together we will practice gratitude.
I want you to feel joy, so together we will learn how to be vulnerable.
When uncertainty and scarcity visit, you will be able to draw from the spirit that is a part of our everyday life.
Together we will cry and face fear and grief. I will want to take away your pain, but instead I will sit with you and teach you how to feel it.
We will laugh and sing and dance and create. We will always have permission to be ourselves with each other. No matter what, you will always belong here.
As you begin your Wholehearted journey, the greatest gift that I can give to you is to live and love with my whole heart and to dare greatly.
I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but I will let you see me, and I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you. Truly, deeply, seeing you.
Also see this link.