The other day, I got the question I’d been dreading for some time. No, not that question, but one that is almost equally hard to answer. At bedtime, I told my older son, “Mommy loves you so much! Good night!” and he responded with, “Do you love me more than anything else?” “Of course!” I replied. “More than…my brother?” “Well, no, I love you both.” I answered. “But if you had to pick one– who do you love more? Which one of us is your ACTUAL favorite?”
I knew, having two kids, this question would probably come up someday. Thankfully, our blogger Elise wrote about this very topic, and I recalled her excellent advice. I love them both equally, but not in the same way. My older son is smart, aloof, and thoughtful. Getting a hug from him is extra-special, because if he hugs you, you know he means it. He really loves you. He isn’t the kind of kid who hugs just anyone.
My younger son is perhaps the snuggliest child I’ve ever met. He hugs me constantly. He hugs everyone, and cries when friends leave after a play date because he actually does miss them that much. He is quick to anger but also quick to forgive.
So to say I love them both the same isn’t true. I love them both equal amounts but in different ways.
“Well,” I answered, “I love you both because you’re not the same, so I can’t pick one. That would be like saying ‘What do you love more: brownie sundaes or birthday cake with ice cream?’ They’re both awesome and wonderful and you’d never want just one- you’d want both.” My older son seemed happy with this response.
If you have multiple children, how have you answered this question? I’m hoping we’re past it for now…but these boys sure do keep me on my toes!