Our Imperfectly Perfect “Routine”

10 comments

It’s October. The END of October. Since the new school year has started, would you believe I still don’t feel like my house has fallen into some sort of “routine”? As the summer drew to a close, my anxiety decided to have a temper tantrum. OMG, the school year is about to start, I’m not ready! There’s no way I’m getting school shopping done! Um, school lunches; does Nutella on a spoon a banana with an organic milk box thrown in count? The temperature outside; it’s hot, it’s cold – it’s Katy Perry. OK, well how about this. Then comes all of the what I like to call, “not to worry condolences”. You’ll be fine; you just have to fall into a routine. Don’t worry, once the year starts, you will find a routine. You will find your routine…ROUTINE, ROUTINE, ROUTINE. Yes, that’s an echo. Did I mention my anxiety has temper tantrums? This is not helping.

Sigh, so here I am at the end of October, and guess what? No routine! We’re also full swing into the fall equinox – a time of year for change, transition and preparation, though I’m not entirely sure what I’m preparing for? Oh, Oh! I know! Routine? Here’s what I know for sure, with three kids under ten years old, a full-time job and a part-time job, juggling those variables and still making time for my marriage; routine just doesn’t come easy. I sometimes feel that when I became a mom, there was this contract I signed unbeknownst to me regarding how I needed to “be”, like all the time. I think all moms go through this. I swear Rumpelstiltskin hijacked my emotions!

In my haze of non-sleep I somehow succumbed to the pressure and signed this contract to doubt myself, second-guess myself and play the “I should be” game. I should be more organized, I should be more thoughtful about lunch, I should have a routine and I should really fold that basket of laundry, like now. The pressure to “be” this and “be” that is like a vice grip on my inner “just be”.

Perhaps I need to change what my expectation of “routine” really is. Somewhere in the depths of my mind, it means perfection. But really, perhaps my/our family day-to-day is actually just that, routine. MY routine, and it’s that routine that I need to make peace with. And that routine is AWESOME-SAUCE! Imperfectly perfect. Here’s another thing that I’m learning – nothing in this precious life is ever really perfect. And no one else’s life is more perfect than mine; it’s just their experience and their day-to-day. Time to wake up, break the contract and be the change! Perhaps that is the change I need to see in my world. If we simply surrender our expectations something wonderful happens: we realize that we do the very best we can each day. For ourselves, our families, our co-workers. And suddenly we begin to notice something. Clarity. Being able to see what has been with us all along. Routine. What a concept. Your move Rumple.

10 comments on “Our Imperfectly Perfect “Routine””

  1. Great writing and great topic. I keep telling myself we’ll fall into a routine when my parents head back to Florida, when the time changes, when my kid starts sleeping through the night again, when my daughter starts daycare. Just be is an excellent mantra.

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