Mommy’s Great, She Gives Us Chocolate Cake!


This morning, I posted the following status update on my Facebook page: “OK, I admit – I gave the kids a tiny slice of chocolate cake for breakfast (but only after they finished their REAL breakfast)…”

The post was intended to be a veiled shoutout to Bill Cosby, and to poke a little fun at myself (because it was true – my kids got a tiny slice of my homemade cake this morning). I was happy to see that MOST of my friends got it and even found it amusing, as evidenced by the increasing “LIKES” and comments that I got throughout the day. But no later than 2 hours after I had posted that update did one of my Facebook friends send me a personal message:


Did you really give your kids cake for breakfast? You’d never catch me doing that…

What I responded was this: Haha, you’re a better woman than I am!

But what I really wanted to respond was the following bit of snarkiness:  CHILLAX, Woman!


I’m not an extreme mom; although, if you ask my husband, he’d probably disagree. My mantra in motherhood is that life and childhood are all about balance. While I firmly believe that kids thrive with routine and require structure and standards, I also believe in knowing that it’s ok to relax. I don’t “break the rules” simply for the sake of breaking them (because that would be irresponsible), but I do think that bending the rules, when appropriate, adds variety to our kids’ mundane routines. I believe that if our kids do nothing but rigidly follow a schedule like robots, they’ll never learn to deal with the curveballs that life will inevitably throw their way.

So yeah, in the eyes of the woman who messaged me: I’m setting my kids up with poor eating habits because I feed them cake for breakfast; In the eyes of my kids: Mommy’s great because she woke up early, baked a cake from scratch, and let us taste it while it was still warm.

In her eyes: I’m rotting their minds because I let them watch cartoons; In my kids’ eyes: We love Friday nights because we get to snuggle on the bed with Mommy and Daddy after a long week of school, watching ballerina and train cartoons.

In her eyes: I spoil their appetites by allowing them to eat candy before dinnertime; In my kids’ eyes: We wish every night was Halloween because Mommy lets us dress up and ask our neighbors for candy…and then lets us EAT the candy before dinner!!!!

In her eyes: I’m depriving them of much needed sleep because I delay bedtime by 15 minutes; In my kids’ eyes: Mommy loves to sit on the floor in the dark before we go to bed and hear all about our very busy day.

In her eyes: I’m messing up their sleep schedules by letting them skip their naps; In my kids’ eyes: We got to spend an entire special day (Mommy’s birthday!) at the zoo with Mommy and Daddy (and they let us skip our naps!!!).

In her eyes: I’m wasting their minds by allowing them be lazy in the morning; In my kids’ eyes: We love Sunday mornings because we get to sleep in, stay in our jammies, relax, and play and not rush off to go do something.

Perhaps these things are my way to justify not always doing the things that parenting “manuals” tell you that you should do. I’d like to believe that these are the little things that lifetime memories are made of. I hope that my kids won’t look back one day and say, “Can you BELIEVE that Mom let us eat cake for breakfast on a Friday morning in November when we were three??” or “How COULD she let us eat all that candy on Halloween night???!!” Instead, I hope that they’ll hold special memories of Mom baking a chocolate cake for them, or memories of their first trick-or-treating Halloween where a ballerina and a dragon walked with their Mommy to neighbor’s houses, sucking on Tootsie Pops and marveling at the chewy chocolate center.

Life is a journey. Cease (seize!) the day!

17 comments on “Mommy’s Great, She Gives Us Chocolate Cake!”

  1. No judgement here. You can almost guarantee that your kids will remember the time mom let them eat cake for breakfast as being a highlight of their childhood but I doubt very highly they will remember any of the many times you gave them oatmeal.

  2. First of all, I love the shout out to Bill Cosby. No one seems to be paying him the respect he deserves. I grew up laughing to those records and my kids grew up watching his amazing sitcom.

    Secondly, please direct your personal critic to the CTWM page with our NO JUDGING mantra. Jeez. I feel sorry for HER kids.

    Thirdly, I ate Tastycake cupcakes for breakfast as a child every single day (Mom slept in. :-)), and I lived to tell the tale. But the thing YOU did is even more exciting — you gave them that special feeling of an exciting deviation from the straight and narrow, which makes it even more exciting. One year for his birthday, I gave my younger son many boxes of sugary cereal because I was such a hard-ass about not eating that. Then he proceeded to prove to me that the amount of sugar my older son liberally spooned into his healthy Cheerios was WAY greater than the portion-controlled amount in the Froot Loops!! Science!

    I think you made Miss Judgie Judgment nervous with this example of your free spirit. When I took a month off from work to de-stress and had the BEST time doing absolutely nothing, one of my co-workers said, “I could NEVER do that — it would drive me crazy.” Really? It would drive you crazy to spend time with yourself, in your home, just relaxing? What does that say about YOU?

    1. I completely agree Randi! No JUDGING! And, I sooooo used to look forward to bike rides with my Dad when visiting my grandparents where we would go to get ice cream before breakfast. Treasured memories indeed!

      PS- My kids get cake for breakfast whenever there is one left in the house (not often, but it needs to disappear in a timely manner after birthdays, etc.)

      1. I love that memory – seriously, to a kid, what is better than bike riding with Dad and ice cream for breakfast??!! Those are the memories that last forever!

    2. OMG, Tastycake cupcakes! I had forgotten about those!!! Yum, yum, yum!!!

      One of my memories is of my dad when I was in elementary school – whenever he was “in charge” of us kids, he would feed us hot dogs speared on the end of chopsticks or folded inside a square of white bread (folded diagonally so that it was like a triangle). Then he’d take honey and melt it into warm water and then give it to us, calling it “special honey punch.” I look back now and think, “OMG, I’d KILL my husband if he did that…” but in hindsight, I realize that this is the memory that has remained in my head. And SOMETIMES (cough cough), I reach into my cupboard and make myself a glass of “special honey punch” when no one is looking…

  3. Unfortunate that someone felt the need to reach out privately to tell you she’s a better mom than you, but it sounds like you laughed it off instead of firing back at her. And they will cherish these memories – and so will you!

    1. Well, I’ll admit to this (because I am a little bit of a snark sometimes). I posted the link to THIS post on my Facebook page, and I didn’t hide the original message sender from the post. If she reads the first section of my post, she will probably know it’s her. Not my intention to send a passive message to her, but if she sees it, so be it.

  4. I love French toast slathered in maple syrup with bacon on the side… IMO, the chocolate cake is probably healthier!! 🙂 Had you posted that you made French toast for your kids for breakfast the woman probably wouldn’t have batted an eyelash.

  5. I have given our girl chocolate chips while waiting for the oatmeal or pancakes to make. We had pie for breakfast on Thanksgiving last year because she made little tarts and she asked for it and I just couldn’t say no. Some people are so quick to point out what they think you are doing wrong as a parent and very few will commend you on all the great things. Besides how many of us have not had chocolate cake for breakfast when we have cravings? I bet you ten out of ten have ! I am just mad you did not take a picture of the cake so I could virtually salivate. Good job mom!

    1. Thank you, Lucy!!! I totally agree – it’s SO HARD to say no when you see it in their eyes, and sometimes it just isn’t worth it to disappoint them!!!

      I will admit to eating cake (and pie, and cookies!!!) for breakfast!!!

      P.S. no pic because the cake tasted better than it looked. I am NOT a pro at frosting cakes!

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