Maybe just one more?

23 comments

There are a lot of grown up decisions out there that require you to (wo)man up and put your big girl pants on. I think there are a handful that are super big, like deciding to get married, to buy a house and to have children. As sad as it sounds, even buying a house or getting married are decisions you could probably reverse should you change your mind once you’re in it, so maybe having kids is the biggest decision?

However, the decision to have a child wasn’t too difficult for me. I knew I wanted to have one. I saw myself with a child.  She had dark hair and dark eyes just like me. She had the same bowl haircut I had as a child and the same deep dimples that I used to hate. I was lucky to have found the man I would share my life with when we were both just high school kids and lucky that we’d been able to weather the years. I was lucky that we both knew we wanted to have a child. I can’t remember exactly how we decided to just go for it. If I remember correctly, my group of book club friends had all started having babies and even though I’m a few years younger I decided to join them. We had no idea how long it might take to get pregnant, so we went for it. I’ve said before, you’ll never have enough time or enough money, so if you see yourself with kids in your future, just go for it!

The brown eyed girl I thought I'd have vs the blue eyed beauty I got.
The brown eyed girl I thought I’d have vs the blue eyed beauty I got.

We were lucky, it didn’t take long and my pregnancy was uneventful.  And even though the birth and first several months were nuts, we decided to start trying again when our first daughter was about 18 months old. Had we waited until she was two, we might have decided differently. But here we are – a family of four. In about two weeks, we’ll be celebrating our second daughter’s first birthday. So, where do we go from here?  The size of my house and my bank account tells me we’re done. The bags under my eyes tell me we’re done. My husband doesn’t push and isn’t one to want to “try for a boy” but he is one of four kids (all boys).  He’s mentioned that our youngest really seems like a middle child because she just goes with the flow so well. And as she rapidly approaches toddlerhood I’m already missing the baby days. I’ve had instances where I’ve loaned out or given away baby clothes or maternity clothes, which is something I probably would not have done if I was positive I wanted another. But I wasn’t exactly driving them down to the Goodwill and I certainly had some anxiety seeing them go.  Even if I’m 95% sure we’re all set with two kids, making the “final” decision seems like a pretty big step. For us for now, I guess we’ll just wait and see. We don’t really have to make any decisions. I do hear that the jump from two to three isn’t nearly as big as from none to one or from one to two. If there’s anyone out there with three kids, do you think that holds true? How and when did you decide to go for number three?

Screen Shot 2014-01-11 at 1.11.58 PM
I was looking for an image of a family of five but couldn’t stop laughing at this one.

 

23 comments on “Maybe just one more?”

  1. We went for #3 with a 1 and 3 year old and had #3 and #4! Now we have a 5, 3 and two 1 year olds – a crazy, crowded life but I wouldn’t have it any other way!

  2. My hubby and I always said “two and that’s it”, then we realized we didn’t feel our family was complete so we had our third. We have three kids four and under but the looks of love they give each other is great-fills my heart with joy. We are pretty sure we won’t have another. After the last pregnancy I don’t think I could go through everything again. . Plus I don’t want to be over 35 having a baby. There are moments we are exhausted, but we love a challenge. We actually just relocated in arizona from ct, and we both drove our own cars across country. Having little ones is wonderful. Tiring but extremely rewarding!

    1. As I lay here miserable in Labor and Delivery I can’t imagine ever having a second! Lol but we will see how I feel in a few years.

  3. Gee Jen the jump from 2 to 3 was easy but timing played a part too. Our oldest was 2 when our second was born so both still babies. But when our third was born oldest was five and middle was three so they were alittle more self sufficient. They enjoyed helping and as a now experienced parent (whatever that means) we were really able to enjoy the third and not be so crazy. Everyones decision is individual and your heart will guide you and there will never be enough money but we have wo lots of laugh and love

  4. I had my older boys when I married the love of my life. Finding out we were expecting number 3 2 months after we got married was a surprise. But once she was here could not imagine life with out her. Even got a little crazy and when she turned 2 i wanted to see if we could have just one more. We tried for 6 months and then 3 months after we stopped trying God blessed us with our 4th. I tied my tubes and may sound crazy but i regret tying them. I agree it is easier to go from to to three. And going from three to four was even easier. Life is crazy but i could not be happier. Go with your heart Jenn! You are a great mom!

  5. Jasey says we are done. I’m still on the 95ish% line. I would love to be prego again and miss the first couple months of a newborn but not sure I want to do anything beyond that a third time. I like being done with diapers. 🙂 I’ve heard many people say you know when it’s your last cause you unintentionally keep them a baby longer than you did the older ones. I’ve noticed myself doing that with R, so maybe I am done…? I guess I’ll know one day. 🙂

  6. I hear ya on this. I’ve always wanted 3, but number 2 is still on his way and I am no spring chicken – lol! Trust your instinct, if you still have that desire and hubs is on board, go for it! Life will work itself out 🙂

  7. We are in the same boat! I would love to have more but we don’t have the room nor the money or sanity!!! lol! When we do make the decision that we are “done” it will be a very sad day. Like you, we are 95% sure that 2 is it but until then… 🙂

  8. I’ve just always wanted three! We both work full-time and our bank account will surely be hurting when #3 arrives in late summer, but we’ll make it work. I have two boys now and I hate when people ask me if “I want to go for a girl” – even if I had one of each, I’d want three. I just think it’s a great number of kids, and even though it’s expensive and exhausting, we’ll get to enjoy those kids for the rest of our lives. I can’t wait.

  9. I only have one kid so I have no idea what the jump from two to three is like but I look forward to hearing what other’s have to say! And I look forward to finding out whether or not you’ll be having a third 😉

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