Facebook. You are killing me. Us. All of us.

Yesterday, I posted this photo and got a lot of mixed comments:

I think I mistakenly gave the impression that I was planning on actually accomplishing all of these tasks yesterday. Home. Alone with my two small children. That wasn’t my intent at all, but thinking back on it, I can see where people might assume that. Because Facebook is full of that kind of RIDICULOUSNESS. I just wanted some accountability. I wanted to get something productive done during this billionth snow day.

Some of my friends were like, “Yeah, right.” (They know me!) and some of my acquaintances wrote why there’s no way they could do all that because of x, y and z (mostly kids, kids and OMG KIDS.) — I’m right there with ya, sisters. TRUST.

I found myself feeling mixed emotions about this. Part of me wanted to DO ALL THE THINGS to see if I could do it. Part of me wanted to do none so I could show solidarity with all the other tired, overwhelmed, overDONE moms out there.

Instead, I did whatever turned out to be reasonable, which was more than I expected! I got the laundry room painted, coat hooks hung in there, cupcakes made, and Valentine’s addressed (the last two with the help of little hands, of course.).

If any of you are friends with me on Facebook, you are going to laugh a big ole Santa-style laugh at what I’m about to say. But, Imma say it anyway: People, why so fake?

Now, the reason my friends may laugh is because I am the biggest FB oversharer in the history of ever. Well, not in terms of “Hi, ate eggs today. Out of milk. Need to cut my nails.” but I do post a bit. OK, a LOT. However, I feel like I at least keep it pretty real.

My posts are a complete mix of wow, I love these kids/these kids are devils/productivity/procrastination/love my awesome husband/why do people get married?? But I see a LOT of EVERYTHING’S COMING UP ROSES AND DAFFODILS ALL. THE TIME. ZOMG, YOU WISH YOU HAD MY LIIIIIFE posts and, on the other hand, WOE IS ME EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE FML.

First, can we all just agree to stop saying FML? Because good grief, is it REALLY that bad? I don’t know why, but I feel like that’s even worse than the people who always and only portray their lives as perfect.

In case anyone is confused (um, or cares? because really. who cares?!), my kids are amazing, my husband is the best, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life, I love my family and have the best friends anyone could ever ask for, a warm, safe home, Zoloft and unlimited text messaging. Oh, plus we upgraded cable to include Disney Junior so, WIN. My kids are also four and two and are completely manic, we all cry a lot, my husband and I get nowhere near enough quality time alone together, we snap at each other, I don’t see my friends enough or tell them how important they are to me, I don’t make my health a priority, my house is never clean, the laundry room may be painted but the laundry piles are high — and dirty, I stress about dinner time, school time, work time, bath time and bed time, Zoloft, there is too much/not enough coffee and wine and I miss my parents. 

Nobody’s life is as perfect or as terrible as it seems on Facebook. So stop pretending people.