Your Facebook Photos Make Me Want Another Kid

15 comments

Before having my daughter (who is now almost 3) I thought I wanted multiple kids. I have 3 siblings myself and love that I have so many treasured childhood memories. My husband thought he wanted 2 kids so I figured we’d at least have that many.

Not so much.

My pregnancy was more difficult than we expected and my daughter’s birth, yeah well I’m kind of a broken record at this point about how traumatic that was. Add to this that she was colicky until she was 6 months old and we both were pretty much past the idea of having another kid. My husband has been more adamant than me about not wanting another child, in large part because of how crappy it was for us for a while but also because 2 kids in daycare is so much $$. Seriously, I don’t know how people do it.

Now don’t get me wrong, we love our daughter to pieces (actually to the moon and back, as she would say). But all of those factors I just mentioned left us scared about adding another child to our family. Plus we kind of like the lifestyle of having just one kid.

But to be totally honest with you, deep down, I do want another child. I worry that my daughter will grow up feeling likes she missed out because she didn’t have a little buddy. When I picture future family outings, like camping and family trips, I picture having two children along for the fun. The more I let myself imagine another child, the more I feel like someone is missing.

And people, your Facebook photos are not helping! Every time I pop in to check my newsfeed I find myself melting over cute sibling photos.

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Pictured: Steph’s girls. This photo makes my ovaries hurt.

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Pictured: Elise’s girls. One giving the other a hug during time out. ADORABLE.

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Pictured: My childhood friend Lauren’s girls walking hand-in-hand. Swoon.

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Pictured: My college friend Stephanie’s kids enjoying morning snuggles.

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Pictured: My friend Christy’s kids holding hands in the car. So cute!

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Pictured: Carly’s adorable girls engaging in some couch snuggles. I want in!

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Pictured: My friend Dena’s kids. Having a sleepover together! ♥

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Pictured: My FB friend Rosa’s adorable girls giving each other kisses!

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Pictured: OK not technically siblings but this is my daughter and her BFF, the closest thing to a sibling she has.

I know that even if we have another child, there is no guarantee they will be close. I also know there’s a lot of sibling fighting and it’s not always as peachy as these photos make it look. But on the flip-side I want my daughter to know that she has someone else in this world to rely on and to make wonderful memories with. Will I have another child? We’ll see. In the meantime, I’ll keep swooning over your cute sibling photos.

15 comments on “Your Facebook Photos Make Me Want Another Kid”

  1. I really would like to know how people do it financially with two or more kids in daycare. We are toying with the idea of number 2 (my son is 18 months) but two in daycarewould be so expensive. Maybe a topic for another blog post?

  2. Michelle – I, too, admire your honesty in all of this. Sometimes, fate decides for you whatever the outcome will be. I know you will make the right decision for your family, and there really is no right or wrong in this case. It’s such a hard decision to make…

    And like everyone said, you still have a bit of time!

    Those pics are just SO FREAKING ADORABLE.

  3. Only you know what you can or can’t handle and what’s best for your family. As a parent of an only child, I occasionally wonder what it would have been like if we chose to have another – but I know my limits and hubby knows his – and more children would have pushed at our limits and made us feel very stressed. But that is just us and how we are wired and I have never felt that we were incomplete as a family. We’re pretty lucky that our son never asked for a sibling, with the exception of the time when he was about 4 and asked for one that was “6 or a little older” to play with him, and he knows lots of other only children so it doesn’t seem “weird” to him to be a singleton.

    1. Thanks for this! I struggle with the decision, I think mainly b/c everyone makes you feel like if you have one, you might as well have at least one more. But I too don’t feel like my family is missing something by only having one. I don’t come across a lot of people who voice the same opinion, so thank you very much!

  4. Those photos are heart wrenching and adorable at the same time. I wish we had a second and worry so much about the only child thing. You do what’s right for your family at the time you’re doing it. You’ll figure it out. And if it helps, I hear that every pregnancy, every kid is different! Life is unpredictable.

  5. The husband and I always had it in our “plan” to have two kids, and while we have a three year old and an almost 6 month old right now, the hard parts of having two to wrangle kids is really outweighed by the positives- Jake was in love with Olivia from the day she was born, and watching him play with her, hug her, and want to feed her just kills me!! Of course that could also change when she’s a little older and makes a grab for one of his trucks 😉 Trust yourselves- you’ll know what to do!

  6. Oh sigh – my train of thought before having a second child exactly. I can’t imagine life without our second daughter, but I can imagine life with just our first. Does that make any sense?

  7. I feel the same way about a THIRD kid!! I always wanted to have at least 4 kids. I love big families and always wanted that for my kids. But just like you, I want it and I am terrified of it! 🙂 The cost of having another child is the scariest part! I love the line you wrote: “The more I let myself imagine another child, the more I feel like someone is missing.” I do that to myself all the time!! I know we really could not afford another child, so when I think so much about having another it makes me sad, almost like I am mourning the loss of the third child that never was. it is a strange feeling and I’m glad I am not alone in feeling it! 🙂

  8. Girl…I read your blog topic title and said, “Amen” inside my head. I too had a horrible pregnancy and a traumatic birth experience. So I struggle with wanting another baby, not just for want of another child, but with the dread of the process getting there (I also miscarried twice before finally having a successful pregnancy so I was terrified the entire time I was pregnant). People always tell me, “Oh, you’ll forget how terrible pregnancy/labor was”…yeah, I haven’t forgotten. So I too am not ready yet. I take that to mean my family isn’t ready yet. Baby-making is a group decision I guess (ha!!).

  9. I love and admire your honesty. Nothing easy about that decision, just remember there is no right or wrong, there is only your family and what feels it best fits.

  10. I love your openness michelle. We go back and forth with wanting another, but do have time to figure it out as you do too. Also, i am an only child and i do wish i had a sibling, not just to play with when we were kids, but to have someone help me take care of my parents when they get older. I think theres much more to having a sibling, than just a friend. You will make the best decision for your family either way, and thats all that matters! Xo

    1. Thanks Melissa! I worry about Lillian feeling like she’s missed out if she doesn’t have a sibling. She’s already been telling us she wants a brother!

      1. Me thinks that Lills is picking up on some male Spirit Baby energy swirling around your family! Kids know! And since you feel like someone’s missing, YOU know too! 😉

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