Oh how I LOVE our true confessions posts. Our sparkly Kate got us started on this a while ago and at one point we did an entire blogger series about our confessions! Confessions are awesome for many reasons including that they help us purge those deep down thoughts that make us wonder if we’re nuts for thinking the way we do. Along those lines, I love confessions because they help others realize they aren’t alone! When we’re all more honest about our experiences and feelings, when we’re more real and let people see our inner workings, we create a sense of connection to each other. And I just LOVE that.
So here are some random confessions from me.
*When I was pregnant I only considered breastfeeding. I believed “breast is best” and would not even entertain the idea of using formula. Then I had a traumatic birth experience and for reasons too long to list here switched to formula. If I were to get pregnant and have another child, I would formula feed from the start.
*When I was younger, in my teens, I vividly remember my younger sister telling me that I was judgmental. I was so offended! Me? Judgmental? No way! Now I look back and realize she was right. In certain ways I was judgmental and quick to form opinions about people. I’m glad I’ve been working on that over the past several years because I truly believe that judging people only serves to separate us from others and I know from first hand experience that when I’m focused on being compassionate, I feel more peaceful and happy.
*Speaking of which… I find that I struggle the most with showing compassion towards my husband. Yes, I just said that. At a recent meditation class this exact phenomenon was discussed so apparently I’m not the only one. Marriage is really hard. Sometimes I lose my cool with him or get frustrated really easily whereas I’m able to handle situations with other people much compassionately. A work in progress.
*It’s been over a year since I’ve had an alcoholic beverage. I don’t drink anymore. Not a lot of people know this about me. I didn’t stop drinking because I don’t like it, I stopped as part of my spiritual journey. I think I hesitate to tell people this because I don’t want anyone to think I’m judging them for drinking, I could care less what anyone else does and still love seeing my fellow moms post on Facebook about needing their “mommy juice.”
*I’ve struggled with my weight for many years and always feared that the pregnancy weight wouldn’t ever come off. My daughter is almost 3 and I haven’t lost any of that baby-weight, not that I can really call it baby weight anymore!
*Actually scratch that. The real truth is I struggle with food and because of that struggle my weight fluctuates. I admitted to my struggle with food in January here on the blog and haven’t been able to revisit that topic since, even though I’ve had a follow up blog post sitting as a draft for weeks. It’s really hard to talk about that part of my life because it makes me feel really exposed. It bothers me that a lot of people look at overweight folks and think we’re lazy and just need to eat less and exercise more. For a lot of people, including myself, the issue is much deeper than that.
*On a lighter note, see that beautiful ring in my photo above? Yeah, it’s fake. Someone broke into our house last year and it was stolen. I picked out that one from Overstock and I actually like it better than my real wedding ring. Sssshhhhh….
*I use to bite my nails and I never believed I could ever give it up. I tried that nail polish that tastes bad, you know the kind usually used with kids, and that didn’t even stop me. But then one day I just decided to be over it and it’s been years since I’ve done it. And I’m so glad! But geez, nails require a good amount of maintenance.
*I have some weird OCD type of behaviors. I don’t like odd numbers, like they give me anxiety. I can’t have the radio station volume on an odd number, oh hell no! I also click my car remote 4 times to lock it. Don’t ask me why, I have no idea.
*I get really bored sitting around at home with my daughter, so most evenings after work I take her out places. Lately we’ve been checking out all the different libraries in our area and during spring/summer we always go to various playgrounds. I’m just not a big fan of staying home and playing.
*I get sweaty really easily (which is why I often wear black shirts so people can’t see my pit stains!).
*I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but I am totally one of those messy people that leaves their clothes in a pile on the floor (or multiple piles).
There you go! True confessions from me. xo