The moments that matter


Typically, if you were to see a blog post, with a title like this, you’d read on about cherishing the little things in parenthood; about pushing aside the frustrations of the day to hold on to the sweetness that inevitably finds its way into even in the hardest parts of parenting.

But this is not that post. Mamas, sometimes the moments that matter most are the ones that make you feel…normal.

Maybe normal is the wrong word, but it’s the one I’ve been using lately. I know that motherhood is my new normal, and it’s something I’m incredibly proud of. Insert here the blogger caveat about how much I love my daughter and how I wouldn’t change having her for anything. But lately I’ve been equating finding moments of balance in my life with feeling “normal;” like I haven’t lost all of my pre-parenthood self.

I recently read a great post about how our children don’t want us to be martyrs, giving up every bit of our former selves once we become parents. They want to see us happy, with our own interests and passions beyond our roles as mothers. Many of my fellow bloggers are good at this. I have not been.

So for me, my moments of normal have finally started to creep in. I began to reclaim some TV time in the morning to watch the local news and a bit of the TODAY show. It doesn’t have to be all cartoons, all the time. I started to put my foot down and take a half hour out of my day to get some tasks done, whatever they may be. My daughter had been so used to me accommodating every request to play, it’s good for her to learn that I can’t say “yes” all the time. I even started meeting friends for coffee once a week, treating myself both with the drink and the adult company.

These moments matter, for my wellbeing. They look silly put here, these seemingly small things, and I know I let far too much time go by not making myself a priority, even in the most basic of ways. I’m realizing that it’s okay to not abandon my self in this role of parenting. It’s time to swing the pendulum back a bit and be a more balanced version of myself, both for me and for my family.

6 comments on “The moments that matter”

  1. This is great! I try not to kick myself that I am no longer leisurely reading the paper all Sunday morning or going to the (not G-rated) movies whenever I feel like it. I try to get my nails done at least every other week, stop at the library on my lunch hour, read at night (if I can manage it without falling asleep), watch Jon Stewart on the DVR while I ride the exercise bike (I can knock both out in 20 minutes LOL). Thanks for reminding me these little things mean a lot!

  2. YES! Absolutely! Those little things are actually HUGE! I started doing this when my first son was 17 months old and I have only added to it over the years. It’s soooo important. Good for you, Sister!

    1. and p.s. the reason I remember it was when he was 17 months old is because it WAS a very big deal for me. It’s a big deal for every Mama, so once again, good for you!

  3. Such an important message. I do think that when you have kids, life does sort of “stop,” or at least takes a detour for a while where there is a distorted sense of normalcy – I personally don’t think that’s a bad thing because when your kids are little, mom and dad are the center of their tiny little universes and they need us to be there. However, once their world expands and mom and dad are no longer the only thing that fills up their little bubbles, then yes, we parents need to redevelop a sense of identity that is broader than just “A’s mom.”

  4. I love this, and you and am so happy to hear about the little things you’re doing to really feel like you.

Share Some Comment Love

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s