Easter did not go as planned. We went for a really nice family run in the morning, but short fuses got lit and my husband and I visited our respective families — solo. It wasn’t a really big deal, as neither of our small families had anything big planned. He and my daughter went to Granny’s. They came home and she and I went to Grandma’s.
Life just isn’t 100% all the time. I know it’s not supposed to be. But sometimes it stinks when it isn’t. And no family, including this little one, is perfect. Really — we’re a house of people with different moods, expectations, and sometimes even schedules. And I admit, I can definitely take those weekends when things just sail along smoothly — moods, expectations, and aligning schedules — for granted. Sometimes I just think all weekends should go like that or we’re failing as a happy family. After all, we have these two precious days together and we freaking love each other, dammit.
But this past Sunday, attitudes were sour and shoulders were cold. For no particular reason. So CP and I went to go see immediate family, which to be perfectly honest can sometimes cause me to get anxious. But on this day, I was able to relax there and enjoyed watching my family just eat her up. And she had a blast. After the love was spread around and she pored over Grandma’s basket, we packed up and headed out. And I decided to make an unexpected stop on the way home. The weather was warm, so I decided to pull in at little pond down the road from my mother’s house. This is the town I grew up in and still feel pretty deeply connected to. It’s not far from the town that I currently live in, but on Easter I was reminded that I don’t spend as much time there as I should.
And as I listened to her ask about fish, throw rocks in the pond, and stare at the fisherman, I was lifted out of my grey-cloud-day. I sat for quite a while, soaking up the sun and watching her scoot around in her white dress in the dirt. (If you know me, you know that light colored clothing + dirty dirt would normally cause me to
stop breathing cringe.) And it hit me, that this was IT. That this is what it’s about. It’s not always perfect. And it’s sometimes frustrating, emotional, or even exhausting. But the solution is usually just to hit the reset button. Unfortunately, we don’t always see it when we’re looking for it, or we’re just too flipping exhausted to try to find it. Either way, it’s there. And when I was able to let go of how I think it should be and just take my hands off of the wheel … Voila.
We headed home from the pond and back at the house there were hugs. And Easter candy. And all was right with the world.