Sometimes things stink. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball. Or what feels like a dozen, one right after the other.
Anyway, that was definitely the last couple of weeks for me. But I’m just so over feeling lousy and tired, I had to change my perspective.
Lemon: I rolled my ankle and sprained it doing a cross-country race a couple of weeks ago and knew as soon as I did it that I’d be out of commission for a while. I was immediately super pissed. Super, super pissed. Running is my outlet. It keeps my brain in check and helps me feel slightly better about scarfing Zebra Cakes and ice cream on a nightly basis.
Lemonade: This is embarrassing, but I’m going to share it anyway. My husband headed out for a couple of hours with my daughter this weekend. My house has felt grubby lately and, well, a grubby house makes me feel low. Someone once told me, “your outsides reflect your insides.” This is totally accurate for me. So I put on my iPod, and cleaned the house like an animal. All the while, I made it into the best workout I could. Curling the vacuum cleaner, doing squats while folding clothes. I looked like a lunatic. Ask me if I care. It wasn’t a run, but it was definitely a workout!
Lemon: My sweet, sweet dog passed away this past week. I’m devasted as it was not at all expected and we were forced to make a decision that we weren’t prepared to make. I can barely think about it, my heart hurts so much still. I also packed up his dog bowls and vacuumed the rest of his fur up. I know it sounds crackers, but I wanted to leave the fur because, well, if you’ve been through this you probably understand: there wouldn’t be any more fur to remind me of him. (My husband kindly reassured me that more is sure to crop up, hidden beneath furniture and tucked away in corners. He was a very hairy buddy.)
Lemonade: He had a lot of leftover dog food – he was a BIG guy and we had to buy BIG bags – so I decided to donate to an animal rescue shelter. I have an affinity for this place in particular as we have adopted from there in the past. I thought it would be a nice opportunity to have my daughter be a part of carrying out our dog Vince’s wishes to help other dogs – as I explained it to her – so we packed up and headed out for the drive. It turns out they were having a fundraising event that day where they welcomed people to bring their dogs. My daughter ogled, pet, and hugged some dogs and even got her face painted like a cat. We joked that the dogs were confused because she was the biggest kitty they’d ever seen!
Lemon: Work has been stressful and unpleasant. My heart has been pulling me in another direction. I feel a bit tied down.
Lemonade: I’ve been trying to leave work at work. I’ve been submitting job applications for positions in other fields. This has allowed me to feel like I have a little control over my future and create some freedom.
Lemon: I’ve been feeling hectic, slightly disconnected, a little lost. Whatever the opposite of grounded is is how I’ve been feeling.
Lemonade: I’ve been opening up my mind a little more, listening, paying attention, taking deep breaths, trying to be more grateful. I’ve taken a couple days off of work here and there to spend time with my family and get some sun on my stems. Much better.
It’s all perspective. It’s all perspective. It’s all perspective. This too shall pass. You are exactly where you need to be.
“You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have the right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.” – Max Ehrmann, Desiderada