A Unified Front

MOOOMMMMM can I have some ice cream?” whines my two and a half-year old one bright early morning.

“No Max you cannot have ice cream at 8 am…”

This is the moment you see my toddler take three steps to the right and plant his big blue eyes in front of my husband.

DAAAAADDDD can I have some ice cream?”

While this strategy is not smart due to lack of distance, it is a defining moment in our house.

The moment your child tries to divide and conquer their parents.

The look so damn innocent right? DO not be fooled, LOL
They look so damn innocent right? DO not be fooled, LOL

My two and a half years old is beginning to understand the idea that he can hedge his bets that we may not agree on something. He does not understand that this could bring on deep philosophical debates between adults.

It’s funny because kids see this as an easy attempt to get what they want, where as Parents can see this as a problem which can cause more problems. Let’s be honest until you have children you are not sure exactly how you will parent them. On top of your own parenting styles you have a partner who can have completely different ones. SO this is wherein lies the issue. When a child begins to try to “Divide and conquer” this can blatantly bring out different parenting styles.

Are you dueling with your partner over potty training????
Are you dueling with your partner over potty training????

For my husband and I, we have so far shared a decent amount of views on parenting but some are different. One thing we discussed and I think is the most important is keeping a UNIFIED FRONT in front of the child. We pretty much agreed that we have to keep a unified front as parents and if we disagree with that parenting choice it will be discussed after the child is not present.

This sounds easy right? I am sure it does to non parents but sometimes not so easy in everyday practice.

There are two reasons we try to keep this philosophy alive everyday is simple.

1. Your children will know they can get what they want by pitting you and your partner against each other. When I say this, it is not because kids are evil or anything they just have one agenda and that is immediate gratification.

2. Your partner and you need to be supportive of each other in front of the child and not confuse the kids with your debates on how to raise a perfect child.

I believe that showing you are a unified front is important not only for discipline, parenting styles but also to show that you will both be there and consistent when they need you.

So far the hubby and I have only had a few hurdles and we kept a unified front but I am sure this will be way tougher as our children get older and things become more serious than potty training.

How are all my other mammas’ doing with this idea and the differing views on parenting?

4 thoughts on “A Unified Front

  1. Yes! This is SO true. We find it hard sometimes when we disagree about something parenting related to let it go for the moment and hold it till after bedtime. Sometimes you just feel so strongly about something in that moment that it’s hard to let it go but you are so right – the kids will learn they can divide and conquer – plus, what kid really wants to hear their parents arguing about how to raise them? Great post!


  2. This is really funny. My daughter is 3 years old and is becoming a real expert in this field! Good luck, Mama! The worst is when I’m working on something with my daughter and my husband just walks in and says something like, “OK, you’re all done with dinner? Let’s watch a show!” I want to throw myself out a window. There is NO GOING BACK once she has heard words like that.


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