A Mom without a Hobby

13 comments

A frequent, shall we say, topic of discussion in our household is the fact that I continually find myself with little to no “me time”. I’m not the kind of person who needs a whole weekend at the spa or on a vacation with friends (though I’m not saying I’d turn that down…hint, hint...), but generally, my only time away from the kids is when I’m working or catching up on weekend chores around the house. If there were a pie chart of my “Weekly Kid-Free Hours” it would look something like this:

(Image made by me on this site: https://imgflip.com/piemaker)
(Carefully crafted scientific chart made by me on this site: https://imgflip.com/piemaker)

Last week, as I again noted my lack of “me time” aloud and with much sighing for dramatic effect, my husband brought to my attention the fact that I have no hobbies. None. What do I want to do with my “me time”? As if the Universe wanted to really drive that point home, I was recently asked to write a short bio of myself for work, including hobbies and outside interests. “Cooking!” I thought. “Cooking is a hobby!” But then I quickly realized I don’t cook because I just love making balanced dinners so much…I do it because I want my family to eat healthy food. “Reading! Ha! I like to read!” I thought. However, for the past six years, my reading has consisted of job-related books or parenting-related books. Is that a hobby? Even shopping, which I always cringed at whenever I thought of it as a “hobby” of mine, has taken a backseat. I love to shop for my kids, but I hate shopping for myself. I imagined my work bio reading “Sarah’s hobbies include shopping for reasonably-priced, coordinated outfits for her sons at outlet malls, begrudgingly blending carrots into tomato sauces, and reading about conflict resolution in early childhood classrooms.” I sound like a party, right?!

I used to have hobbies. I used to like to travel, do ceramics, paint, scrapbook, workout, try new restaurants, and cook for enjoyment. Pre-kids, I was downright fun, darn it!

So…what happened?? I need a fun intervention. I need to somehow create more time for myself, and I need to figure out what I am supposed to do during that time. I love my kids, and I certainly love doing activities with them, but I seem to have forgotten that I can do things on my own, too. I guess this is my call to arms for my fellow moms…have hobbies! Do fun things. Maybe some of you have even managed to continue doing fun things throughout your years as a mom. Either way, please clue me in as to what those fun things are*, because it has been awhile over here.

 

*I know some of you think running and working out count as fun things, and more power to you. That’s awesome. But to me, those are the moving-around equivalent to hiding veggies in my tomato sauce. 

13 comments on “A Mom without a Hobby”

  1. I thought, “running!” until I saw your asterisk. And then I laughed! I really liked this post, and even though I feel like there are a milion and one things that I want to do / learn how to do, I never feel like there is enough “me” time to make that happen and then I just end up wasting time online or cleaning more. Please know that you are not alone and that I definitely struggle with this sometimes too!

  2. I just moved my youngest to his “big boy” room and had to clean out the closet. I found some of my old hobbies collecting dust- sewing machine, scrapbooking supplies, hiking gear, jigsaw puzzles. It was a bit sad to see that I haven’t touched them in at least 5 years, but now that my boys are almost 6 and almost 3, I feel like I have a tiny bit more time to get back to the things I like to do. In the meantime, I have kept up my vegetable gardening (now with the kids) and added backyard chickens (again, with the kids).

  3. When I had my kids, my very close friend told me “whatever you do, keep ONE thing in your life that is important to YOU…not your kids but you.” That, as you know, was my music. It sucked early on because it felt like I had so many balls in the air, but I kept with it. It was the one thing that kept me sane and gave me a little structure in my otherwise unstructured life at the time. It was also the one thing that I’d do outside the house that didn’t make me feel guilty for leaving. Girls nite out = guilt. Working out = guilt. For some reason, my music was never a guilt for me.

    Whatever you decide is your next hobby, I hope that you find and make the time to do it. ❤ If that is sleeping, meditating, whatever, that small amount of time needs to be yours.

  4. I don’t even need a hobby – I just want to stare at the wall alone for a few hours! 🙂 Don’t forget to add sleeping to your pie chart – doesn’t that count as alone time??

  5. I struggle with this as well, and like Cora use exercise as a motivation for self-time that is only about me. I may not always enjoy it, but it is mine, benefits me, and gives me a mental break if not a physical one while I explore other things that fuel me. Good luck!

  6. I’ve struggled with this too Sarah. There’s so much less time to even enjoy a hobby if you have one. I have to say this is an area my husband is really supportive of though – if there IS something I want to do he’s always happy to help me figure out how to make it happen. I wanted to go for roller derby later this summer – that seems like a hobby I might like and he was all about it. But then I found out the time commitment is WAY more than I can give so it’s not going to happen. But I’m glad my hubs was open to helping me figure it out!

  7. So true. It’s hard not to lose yourself as a mom. I belong to a book club (of all working moms) so that forces me to read which is something I enjoy. I’m having fun working on house projects like painting furniture, and one of the biggest reasons I committed to running the 1/2 was that it would give me solo time focused on a goal that was mine along. Maybe think about what you want out of your hobby or me time and work back from there. Schedule weekly time for yourself and you’ll find something to do with it!

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