Last Friday, I had the opportunity to appear on NBC Connecticut with Melanie to talk about World Breastfeeding Week! The whole thing was pretty unreal. Seriously, if you had told me a year ago that I would be on live TV, let alone writing for this incredible site, I never would have believed it. Life is funny, right? Melanie posted some of her follow-up thoughts in her Saturday post, so now it’s my turn.
-I almost said no to this! But I knew I had available babysitters and no plans (summer vacation!!) that day. Much like when I found out about this amazing blogging opportunity, I felt totally unqualified and unworthy, but I knew that it could be a once-in-a-lifetime event and that I should go for it. Melanie touched on this saying yes idea in her blog too, and it’s something that I’ve come to appreciate as I’ve gotten older. Some of the best experiences I have ever had were times when I said yes to something outside my comfort zone (hello, HAVING A BABY, anyone??).
-I was super self conscious and nervous beforehand. I get that this is totally normal, but you have to understand that my baby brain is still SO BAD. A few nights before this all happened, I said something to a friend about taking “frivolous notes” when clearly I meant “copious notes.” I constantly mix up words these days, and I was really afraid of saying something ridiculous. This is why blogging works for me – because I get to read over my pieces 17 times before I publish them. In the end, what really calmed my nerves was thinking about the fact that it wasn’t ME being interviewed, per se, but me representing this amazing blogger group and a topic that I feel passionate about. And also the fact that Melanie did not seem at all nervous – did you know that she totally killed it on the Today Show last year?
-I really didn’t get to say what I wanted to say, and this is no one’s fault. A five-minute segment is barely enough time to scratch the surface of a topic like breastfeeding, and I think we did the best we could with that time. I am a little bit disappointed that I didn’t talk more about my own experience, but in all honesty, I didn’t explain more because it’s a long story! Kerri-Lee (who is lovely and breastfed two kids, by the way) asked me before the segment if I breastfed, and I hesitated. Maybe other moms out there who have used a patchwork of feeding methods can relate to this – when people ask me if I breastfeed or if I formula feed, it’s not really a yes or no question. I always feel like I have to explain. I guess it is because feeding a baby isn’t simple for everyone and so there is no simple answer to that question. And similarly, there is no simple answer to “why.” But when I said that moms who don’t breastfeed shouldn’t feel “lesser,” I was reflecting on my own experience. I did not set out to formula feed at 8.5 months, but I know that it is the right thing for us given the circumstances. So stop feeling lesser, Emily!!
-I still haven’t watched back the segment. I finally mustered up the courage to play it without sound, but I haven’t yet been over what I said. It’s kind of like a job interview or something – you can walk away from it feeling good but you still don’t really want it played back to you. All I know is that I didn’t swear, and my hair looked decent, so I’m happy. No, really, I left feeling good about it, and I don’t want to ruin that feeling by scrutinizing my every word.
-This whole experience has made me reflect on how much I have grown as a mom in the last nine months. When I first started writing for CTWM, like I mentioned, I felt really unworthy, and I did it basically because I like to write and it connected me with other moms. I am in such a different place now. I am definitely no expert on anything other than (some aspects of) my own child, but I feel confident that sharing my experiences can be beneficial to others. People, THIS is why I blog. And this is why I agree to be on live TV. Not because I’m in love with myself or think that my viewpoint is any more valuable than anyone else’s. I am just a mom who sometimes struggles, sometimes succeeds, and is always willing to share.