An apology

3 comments

You belong in my arms, not at the end of my wagging finger.

It didn’t feel good tonight when we yelled. Yelling never feels right, but sometimes we do it anyway. I’m still figuring out how to be your mom, and sometimes I make mistakes. Hopefully when you’re older you’ll remember that I remind you it’s okay for you to make mistakes, too. Not all of the moments are going to be perfect, but I don’t want perfect. I just want you. Even when it’s hard, I just want you. Only you.

We’ll figure it out, this me-and-you thing. My favorite thing.

Tonight after we quieted down I snuggled up at your back and waited. I knew when you turned over and curled into me and reached for my ear that we would be okay.

You were still holding on tight when you dropped off into sleep. I stayed with you until you were softly snoring. And then I stayed some more. And before I untangled myself from you I got to kiss your forehead and whisper reminders into your ear of how dearly I love you and how we can try again tomorrow.

There will always be tomorrow. There will always be another chance to try again. I will always be here and there will always be love and there will always be us. No matter what.

Love you, kiddo. Photo credit C.Allard
Love you, kiddo.
Photo credit C.Allard

3 comments on “An apology”

  1. Becoming adept at apologizing seems to be a universal goal for parents. I have WAY too much experience with it! Hang in there… you are human. We all are.

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