I saw a post on this site about mommy mantras and it made me think about my own. Then today I saw this quiz on Facebook shared by our very own Sharlene. While this is a quiz about a personal mantra, I do think that it lends itself to thinking about our parenting as well. I’ve talked about mantras before; when I was running my half marathon as well as when I shared my love for Rob Lowe and his memoir. The origin of a mantra is of Hindu or Buddhist teachings with the idea that a repeated word or phrase aids in meditation or concentration, such as a repeated om during yoga or meditation practice. Today a mantra is more typically referred to as a slogan or statement repeated frequently. I like to think of it more as a guiding principle. Here are some of the mantras that I use as a mom that may be helpful to you.
Keep moving forward.
I say this all the time. It goes through my mind easily once a day. It motivates in so many different situations.
Whatever gets your through the day.
This one helps me remember that not every day is perfect. Some days you feel like everything is going your way at work and at home and other days you just don’t. Work could be nuts, the kids could be crazy, you could be parenting solo and sick. On days like that it’s a whatever it takes mentality that gets you to the finish line. If that means my kids are eating take-out in front of the TV while I sip vino in my sweatpants so be it. Not every day is like that, but for the ones that are-it’s OK. So much of this mantra is about not judging yourself for the choices you make.
Trust the journey.
Honey and I say this a lot to each other. It’s a very zen idea. (Although so are mantras really.) We might not like where we are in our lives right now as they relate to work or home, but it’s where we are supposed to be. I feel very strongly that everything happens for a reason and that you are put in certain circumstances to teach you something. The journey isn’t necessarily to be enjoyed all the time, but it is to be learned from. If we can be mindful of that when we are in the thick of life, we might all be a bit better off.
These last two are borrowed from friends.
Embrace the ugly. OR Stay above the ugly.
BFF told me to embrace the ugly recently in response to having “one of those days”. I’m not sure if she’s ever said it to me before or not, but that time it really spoke to me. Sometimes life is a shit show and you just gotta get through it, and that’s okay. Accepting where you are and facing it is often better than ignoring it and hoping it’s going to go away on it’s own. The second phrase, stay above the ugly, is something I said to my friend Al-the one who is getting a divorce. Al was having a tough time not being angry with the situation and was tempted to be spiteful and vindictive. I reminded him that he was in a place where he also no longer wanted to be married so getting ugly would do nothing to solve the problem and would really only drag out the process. I actually didn’t remember saying those words to him in that way until he parroted them back to me a few weeks later when I was complaining about something. Now, when I’m tempted to react in an angry, negative, or unproductive way I remind myself to stay above the ugly.
Did any of these mantras help you? Do you have one of your own you’d like to share? I’d love to hear them, maybe I can add to my list.