All through the house, not a creature was stirring not even…. oh wait a minute. That’s a lie. It’s 4:30 in the morning and I’ve been awake ALL NIGHT running back and forth between my daughters’ bedrooms. One has the stomach bug (for the second time within a month) and the other has an ear infection. I have not had one minute of sleep, so naturally I was inspired to share my frustrations with you all instead of getting a little shut-eye. Oh yeah, and I decided to put it to the tune of “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” Just when you finally got all of those Christmas songs out of your head, here I go and ruin that for you. I apologize in advance.

Some of my song is a little embellished, but overall it paints a pretty clear picture of the kind of winter I’ve been having. I’ve pretty much had it up to my eyeballs with this winter so far.

Mom’s Twelve Days of Winter

On the first day of winter
this season gave to me:
A computer that crapped out on me

On the second day of winter
this season gave to me:
2 stomach bugs (because once just isn’t enough?)
and a computer that crapped out on me

On the third day of winter
this season gave to me:
3 slips on ice
2 stomach bugs
and a computer that crapped out on me

On the fourth day of winter
this season gave to me:
4 flu shots
3 slips on ice
2 stomach bugs
and a computer that crapped out on me

On the fifth day of winter
this season gave to me:
5 sleepless nights (wait…I’m pretty sure it was more than that!)
4 flu shots
3 slips on ice
2 stomach bugs
and a computer that crapped out on me

On the sixth day of winter
this season gave to me:
6 trips to the pharmacy
5 sleepless nights
4 flu shots
3 slips on ice
2 stomach bugs
and a computer that crapped out on me

On the seventh day of winter
this season gave to me:
7 boxes of tissues
6 trips to the pharmacy
5 sleepless nights
4 flu shots
3 slips on ice
2 stomach bugs
and a computer that crapped out on me

On the eighth day of winter
this season gave to me:
8 loads of puke-soaked laundry
7 boxes of tissues
6 trips to the pharmacy
5 sleepless nights
4 flu shots
3 slips on ice
2 stomach bugs
and a computer that crapped out on me

On the ninth day of winter
this season gave to me:
9 mega tantrums (the kids, not me)
8 loads of puke-soaked laundry
7 boxes of tissues
6 trips to the pharmacy
5 sleepless nights
4 flu shots
3 slips on ice
2 stomach bugs
and a computer that crapped out on me

On the tenth day of winter
this season gave to me:
10 mental breakdowns (me, not the kids)
9 mega tantrums
8 loads of puke-soaked laundry
7 boxes of tissues
6 trips to the pharmacy
5 sleepless nights
4 flu shots
3 slips on ice
2 stomach bugs
and a computer that crapped out on me

On the eleventh day of winter (stay with me, we’re almost there)
this season gave to me:
11 arctic mornings (it’s seriously cold out there!)
10 mental breakdowns
9 mega tantrums
8 loads of puke-soaked laundry
7 boxes of tissues
6 trips to the pharmacy
5 sleepless nights
4 flu shots
3 slips on ice
2 stomach bugs
and a computer that crapped out on me

And finally…

On the twelfth day of winter
this season gave to me:
12 days of coughing (seriously, I’m hacking up a lung over here)
11 arctic mornings
10 mental breakdowns
9 mega tantrums
8 loads of puke-soaked laundry
7 boxes of tissues
6 trips to the pharmacy
5 sleepless nights (yeah, it has definitely been more than that…)
4 flu shots
3 slips on ice
2 stomach bugs (I reeeaaalllyyy don’t do vomit very well…)

(altogether now)

and a computer that crapped out on me

Is it spring yet?