A Memory

I’m so glad I kept a journal in my early days of parenting, when we were first meeting our children, and learning the foster parent dance. There are some magical moments caught in there…

I noticed early on that it was very powerful to say to my son, “I am glad you are here.” I told him over and over and over again – sometimes 10 or 20 times a day.

“I’m glad you are here.”
“I’m so happy to know you.”
“You are welcome here.”

For the first 6 to 9 months, he would respond by shouting “Don’t say that!” or “I’m not tryin’ to hear you!” But regardless of his words, his voice would soften and the tantrums would calm.

After that he would mostly ignore me or respond with an oh-so-pleasant eye roll and “I kno-wah. You said that before.”

Last night I was tucking him into bed and whispered into his ear the things I always do. “You are important. You are kind. You are sunshine. I’m glad you are here.”

I thought he was drifting off to sleep. I thought he wasn’t really listening. But as I made my way to the door I heard a little “Mommy?” I turned to find his bright eyes and cheeky smile. “I like it when you say that. Do it again?”

“Oh sweetheart. I’m so glad you are here.”


6 thoughts on “A Memory

  1. Tears! I cherish hearing that at 42, so of course are wee ones soak it up, even if they pretend they don’t need it. My son often says the “I knowwwwww, you told me ten times already today.” “Good, I don’t want you to ever doubt it for a second :).” When you start as a foster mom, and with their histories, I can only imagine how much of a difference it made and makes.


  2. I love this. I make a point to tell my adopted children similar things, many times a day. And you know, at some level our kids will never know how much we mean this — we really truly are so over the moon that they are here. 🙂


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