As moms, we know that motherhood can be messy – both literally and figuratively. From spilled food to a chaotic schedule, being a mom isn’t exactly how I had pictured it. I think this is partly because I’ve always been sort of a control freak; trying to control life so that it goes according to my plan. Well, if I have learned one thing about parenting it’s that it is simply impossible to control life ESPECIALLY once you add children to the mix.
There are the physical messes that go hand in hand with motherhood. Looking around my house, it’s blatantly obvious that children live here. There are toys strewn across the living room floor (even though we now have a play area in our basement for all of the kids’ toys). There are crumbs of food and play dough underneath, and surrounding, the little table the girls sit at. I bet if you take a closer look you would find them ground into the rug as well. We also have a lovely pile of my daughter’s preschool art projects on our dining room table dating back to October, yes that’s right…. October.
I saw this on Pinterest a long time ago and thought it was absolutely perfect.
Ok, so I’m sure there are plenty of great moms out there who don’t have sticky floors, messy kitchens, laundry piles or dirty ovens. I, however, am not one of those moms. I thought I would be, but I’m not. And you know what? I’m starting to feel okay with that. The reality is that during the week I get home from a busy day at work, scramble to make something for dinner, spend quality time with my daughters, then it’s the bedtime shuffle – baths, jammies, brushing teeth, books and then trying my best to not pass out in the kids’ bed. Often times the dirty dishes from dinner that night stay there until the next day.
Then, there’s the emotional mess of motherhood. The never-ending worry, the chaos, the curse of the “mommy brain.” Sound familiar? Sometimes my brain feels more cluttered than my house. So much so, that I have actually shown up a day early to my daughter’s appointment with her pediatrician. There was another instance where I missed an appointment altogether. There are days where all I want to do is lay down on the couch and stay there; days where I don’t want to worry about what to make for dinner, or wash dishes, or figure out a lunch, snack, or show-and-tell item for my daughter to bring to school…but I do. There are times that I worry I’m not doing enough for my kids, that I’m not a good mom, or that I’ve scarred them for life in some way or another.
Do I wish my house looked like it came straight out of a Better Homes and Gardens magazine? Do I wish that I had all of my sh*t together – organized and running like a well-oiled machine? Uh, yeah…of course I do! But that’s just not my reality. I’m sure the day will come when I will miss the little fingerprints on the windows, the puzzle pieces hidden between the couch cushions, the sippy cups in the sink, the pile of little clothes waiting to be washed. The day will come when I have much more peace and quiet, more time for myself…and when that day comes I’m sure I will think back on these days and miss them.
For now, I’m going to try my best to embrace the mess because I’m doing the best I can. Aren’t we all?