This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things


Parents everywhere know that parenting can be summed up into 8 little words…

Forgive me for a moment, because I’m about to go on an epically first world rant…Why, why, why do my children insist on destroying everything in my house???

I’m having a moment this week because my wife recently informed me that after 15 years of going to college, grad school, first apartment, new jobs, second apartment, first house, marriage, kids, another kid, and more new jobs, she needs a couple years to just *be*.

When she said this, I was all…


Because, as you can gather from the list above, I’m not really a “just be” kinda gal. Forward progression is my thing and I’m thinking we should round out that list with ‘second house’ right about now.  But, I like my marriage and my wife is pretty cute so we are going to try being for a bit.

Aaaaaand while she does that, I decided it’s time for me to redecorate every room on our first floor. #totallynormal

Which brings me to my point above. Who are these aliens living in my house and why is everything so destroyed?? I didn’t fully notice until I started paying attention, but my house is being overtaken by fingerprints, dirty smudges, dings in the walls, scratched trim, ripped couches, and goodness knows what else. My children aren’t even particularly destructive as far as kids go – we’ve never had any marker on the wall or grape juice spilled on the carpet. But somehow they walk into a room, breathe, and shit starts getting dirty and worn.

I may have had a slight meltdown the other day involving something along the lines of: “I work too hard for my house to look like crap!!”

And yet, I press on with my redecorating scheme – hey, I’m nothing if not pigheaded persistent.  Now I just keep my renos low budget knowing they will need to be revisited in a few years, and pay more attention to wash-ability than the perfect color palette.  We recently finished up with the bathroom (which took 2 months longer than it would have pre-kids thankyouverymuch), and I’m pretty darn happy with how it came out. Maybe there is a balance to strike in the battle of nice house vs. children, after all.

Yeah right, it looked like that for a hot minute…

Someday I will have the Pinterest-worthy home I long for. Clean lines, matching furniture, the perfect accents to bring it all together.  And then I’ll long for the children to bring it to life.

5 comments on “This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things”

  1. Within months of re-painting every room in the house, almost every room has a wall that has somehow been marked up!… and I can blame the kids for only one of the rooms!!

  2. Same with us. Add the MOST DISGUSTING DOG EVER and my house looks like a frat house despite my efforts to clean and keep everything tidy. When I caught my dog rubbing his butt and his boy parts on our rugs, I removed EVERY SINGLE RUG from the areas that he can reach. I gave all of my nice furniture to my mom (who needed new stuff anyhow) and traded it for stuff from Target and Ikea because the dog keeps rubbing his butt, eyes, and face on the sofa and keeps humping it. There are pieces of furniture that my kids are not allowed to sit on because I’m so grossed out by it.

  3. Same here. It’s actually good that we have little discretionary budget for home renovations and furniture, because our kids and scratch-happy cat would just annihilate new stuff.

  4. I needed the validation. My wife walked into the house tonight and the first comment out of my mouth was, “…we can sand the table when then the kids grow up.” She immediately told me to read your blog!

  5. We have nothing nice, and everything is destroyed, and they have written all over the walls AND car. UGH! I feel ya. Though I’m with your wife, being sounds nice :).

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