I don’t always get bedtime snuggles. Most nights I’m the one putting Lenny to bed, but most nights we’re also nursing to sleep. I suppose I do get a special kind of cuddle while he nurses, but I commented to my husband the other day that I wish I could get the kind of snuggles where Lenny wraps his arms around me and puts his head on my shoulder. He would sleep on me like this as a little newborn but, now that he’s a mobile toddler, these day’s I’m more suited for clinging to, playing on, or nursing. I love all of those things (except maybe the constant clinging), but I do miss sleepy snuggles.
Last night was a rare night during bedtime. Lenny nursed and, instead of falling asleep, pulled my shirt down and announced he was done. I think he intended upon climbing down and playing at that point (think again, Lenny, it’s bedtime!) so I tried picking him up and offered to snuggle. I’ll sometimes offer this option at bedtime but my suggestion is always met with kicks and screams—Lenny would much prefer to nurse to sleep while I’m with him, and usually won’t fall asleep any other way.
Last night, however, he did put his head on my shoulder. He tucked his arms straight to his side like he does when he’s starting to settle in to sleep. I could see him over my shoulder, blinking his eyes a bit, quieting down. I saw his eyes close and felt his breathing slow. Was he actually falling asleep? Then, half asleep, Lenny felt around for my arm, the one that wasn’t under him, holding him up. He picked up my arm and wrapped it around him in a hug. He wanted a bedtime snuggle! It was the sweetest gesture—it’s like he knew I had wanted this for a while.
Last night, when my baby boy wrapped my arms around him, and he wrapped his arms around me, and he fell asleep with his head on my shoulder, I finally got my bedtime snuggle.