Kid-Centric

5 comments

I’ve had nearly identical conversations with several different moms this week, so I figured it might be a good topic to write about. I’m not sure if everyone can relate to this, but I’m guessing that many moms can: Kid-centricity.

Maybe it’s because I’m flooded with working mom guilt. Maybe it’s social media that puts a mirror in my face on a daily basis in regard to parenting. Maybe it’s my compulsion to expose my daughter to all of the cool experiences available out there. At any rate, I feel compelled to try to “get it all done”. And it’s tough to ignore all of the parties, events, and goings-on that are going on in Connecticut. There’s so much to do! There are so many invites now that school has started!

My recent focus on how I’ve been living a kid-centric lifestyle has been prompted by conversations with friends and acquaintances about how our parents raised us. Just today, my girlfriend and I were cracking up when we reminisced about how we spent quality time with our families: going to the laundromat, going grocery shopping, cleaning the house, doing yard work. Now I’m practically apologizing to my daughter for not giving her my undivided attention so that I can get some cleaning done. I find that I’m straightening up and putting dishes away at 5:30 in the morning or doing laundry at 10:30 at night so that I can alleviate some of the guilt I feel for not doing something fun with my daughter when we spend time together.

My girlfriend and laughed about the old, banged up, sometimes unsafe cars our parents drove … And the fact that this same girlfriend, while recently shopping for a new car, asked her daughter which backseat was the most comfortable for her.

Another woman and I were talking about how our moms practically kicked us out of the house for the day: “Go get some fresh air!” … and out the door we went. I’m pretty sure my mom had no idea where I was for hours on end. But she was able to vacuum and scrub the house with ammonia undisturbed for a while.

When my four year old daughter (strongly) requested that I switch the music from my radio station to Kids Place Live today, I informed her that there were no kids’ radio stations when I was a kid and I was forced to listen to my parents’ music. Gasp. I think I blew her mind. We listened to 80’s on 8 the rest of the way home. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, kid. Sometimes I have to remember that she will not be damaged if we do something Mom likes to do once in a while.

Maybe it’s because my mother was home with me during the day that she felt free to talk on the phone with her friends for hours on end while I whined about being bored, or had no guilt for not taking me to kid museums, kid events, back-to-back birthday parties, or apple/pumpkin/blueberry/raspberry picking every flipping weekend.

Or maybe she had mom-guilt over other things.

5 comments on “Kid-Centric”

  1. I think about this on the DAILY! what have I deprived my children of this week? what great and wonderful life experience did I not fit in this weekend? Shit! Did we already miss apple picking?????? Seriously- I get this 100%! Most weekends we will ask the kids if they want to go somewhere, or do a particular activity, and I kid you not- more often than not, we’ll get the response of, “NO! I just want to stay at my house!!” Which I totally understand- with both Mike and I working full time during the week, and the kids at daycare/preschool full time as well, there’s NO WONDER they would much rather hang out on their home turf, in their front yard, ride their trikes, and make play doh spaghetti for an hour. All of which, we happily indulge them in.

  2. I think about this all the time and am finding it easier to have a balanced approach as the kids get older. My guilt over having a “chore day” on a Saturday or Sunday has started to alleviate.

  3. Yes! I think the working mom thing does put the pressure on to make the time with do have with the kiddos all about them. My mom also stayed home with me and I spent plenty of time entertaining myself!

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