This week was the first time I have been away from my daughter for an overnight stay. I know that this probably may seem ridiculous to some people, especially considering that she’s five years old. I was kind of looking forward to certain aspects of it, even in light of the fact that I knew I’d miss her.

I was away for a couple of nights for work, but I had conversations with her on the phone each of those nights. Her little voice was so clear. She caught me up on her day. She made me laugh. Those phone conversations highlighted how grown up she suddenly seemed. Like, we can have conversations now. When did this happen?

The second night on my own, I talked to her before I headed out for dinner and she was telling me about that song from Zootopia while eating French fries and pizza with Dad. Is it lame that my delicious, grown-up dinner just wasn’t all that fun without my little Bean? Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed it, but it felt a little lonely.

And it was nice to have a bed to myself, but I definitely missed not having her hog the whole thing when she stumbled in for her 2:30am “visit”. She totally loves hotel rooms. I bet she would have appreciated it more than me. I worry about germs too much.

I got to start a new book, one that I’ve been meaning to get to. And it’s really good, but I definitely missed hearing her read The Ultimate Guide to Palace Pets as we curl up under on her bed. She gets so excited about reading. She gets so excited about everything.

I was a little sad about leaving her for those two nights, especially when she told me — calm as a cucumber — that essentially it was no big deal and she’d see me when I got back. I can say that her relaxed attitude about it may have been influenced by grand dreams of watching “shows” and following my husband’s eating plan of French fries and pizza for dinner. This makes me feel a little better, although, maybe she really was ok with me being gone. And I just don’t know that I’m ready for her to be ready to have a break from me.

I’ll definitely have to make some time to get in a game of backyard fairies or set up all of her castles and little animals in her room this week. It just suddenly feels like this is going by a little too quickly.