I did not expect baby powder.

According to Facebook it seems as though we all pretty much lived the same life this week. Back to school. Back to the routine and a new year….but this also means another year. Another year has come and gone.

During the juggling act of working motherhood I tried to remain conscious of the summer days. Making them memorable and soaking up my children’s presence while they soaked up the sun. However, by the last two weeks before school the anticipation was through the roof. The kids were bouncing off the walls like cartoon characters. We ALL were ready for school to start. Immediately.

My dominant feelings were relief that school was about to start and pride that my two oldest (Kindergarten and 1st Grade) were so excited and enthusiastic to begin and just soar. I knew that after a fulfilling summer they needed something more. They need to continue to grow and achieve their potentials. I actively try to teach independence and self-sufficiency and in my view a positive educational experience was another piece of that mission. I did not want to feel or show any sadness or negativity related to school.

The day came. I was looking forward to my afternoon with the house a few decibles lower than it had been. But then the bus drove away, just like that. I still have a lump in my throat and pretty much just want to cry. I did not expect that. I feel like my heart is just chasing them down the road,  trying to catch them.

I still am running around with my other three little ones at home. But the girls’ absence is gapping. Knowing that I was going to submit a blog during back to school week, I have been focusing on my positive outlook with school, which includes hopes and great expectations for the future. I wanted to talk about excitement and encouragement for the next steps. In the span of one school year alone, the growth, achievements, even the struggles and life lessons are mind blowing. And to think these early years of school are just the beginning….

I do not have expectations that they each reach a certain success, but I have expectations of myself that I will teach by example. Show them fulfillment that comes from self-realization and the hard work behind it.

I also had expected to spend more time with these thoughts; to really discuss my passion for education and that despite the lump in my throat and shock that my children could possibly be so big as to ride the bus and spend all day in school, that I’m bursting with pride that they are doing those things. They are literally changing and growing right before my eyes.

However, these girls of mine have 2 younger brothers. And they also grew taller than I apparently realized and got their hands on baby powder. After cleaning the kitchen for 10 minutes I came upstairs to baby powder. Every limb… clothes… hair — white. Carpets in 3 rooms. Toys, toys, toys. Every nook and cranny. Did you know baby powder sticks to walls? Vacuums were of no use. The bowl of water I used while scrubbing now looks like milk. I expected to have time to spend with this emotional week and share my thoughts and hopefully some encouragement. Watching your children grow is bittersweet, and a new school year puts a spotlight on it. But alas, baby powder.

I thought of this blog the entire time while cleaning — wanting to have enough time to convey some thoughts. But this is reality, so I also hope you appreciate that you are not alone with unexpected crazy events that we spend our time on. In 6.5 years of motherhood I’ve never experienced this level of disaster. Maybe because my two boys (3.5 and almost 2) were the culprits?! I feel like an amateur over here….but at least the upstairs smells clean.

Wishing you all the best during this transition period – I have no doubt our little ones will continue to exceed our expectations. And in unexpected ways.