Time Is The Enemy

To quote Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch “Tomorrow is Christmas! It’s practically here!”  Now while it’s not THAT close, the reality is there are only 10 shopping Fridays left till Christmas (you’re welcome).

As much as we may want it to, time doesn’t slow down, stand still or even go in reverse. Not even The Grinch has the power to change time.  Time does what it does – keeps marching forward at a steady pace, no faster or slower than the day before.   Why do you ask, am I so focused on time? Well in less than two weeks the boys will be turning 3 (no biggie – I got that covered – well my mom does anyway!) but Gavin will be transitioned out of Birth to Three and into pre-k at our local school.

During our IEP meeting we met the OT, PT, special ed and speech folks.  As luck would have it, Bailey had an open house the same night we had our IEP meeting so we brought Gavin and made stops in all the rooms – and he got to meet everyone as well. MUCH to Bailey’s relief, she will see him several times during the day and his main room is just down the hall. During open house Gavin even got to visit the OT/PT room and played on the platform swing – allowing both the OT and PT to hold him and play with him. No frowns or bottom lip protrusions (indication he doesn’t like someone). He smiled and laughed the entire time.

As we left the open house I felt fairly good about the transition. But now, with less than two weeks to go I am in full panic mode. We don’t know these therapists (we know people who know them but it’s not the same). We haven’t met his full-time aide yet (working on setting up a meeting) or any number of other people that will interact with him on a daily basis. They don’t know him. They don’t know that when he gags he is actually protecting himself – not choking and certainly not getting sick.  They don’t know his signs for when he wants to eat/drink/be changed, etc. They don’t know that he will play them to get what he wants, when he wants it.

When we moved daycares over a year ago, we knew some of the people at the new daycare (and they knew Gavin). Not to mention Spencer was in the room with Gavin.  Bailey will be down the hall from him, but it won’t be the same as having a sibling in the room with him (which I know could be a good thing for him) but still has me on edge…

Simply put – this new school, these new teachers and therapists aren’t his current teachers, daycare or therapists.

At the end of the day, week, month, I am extremely sad to be losing some of Gavin’s first (non-family) champions. Women who saw where he was and knew without a doubt that he would surpass expectations and do things we were told he wouldn’t be able. I know they will always be in his life in some way (they aren’t getting off that easy!) but that they won’t be there weekly, pushing him (and us), advocates not only for Gavin but for our family is painful. I’m sad that he will be leaving a daycare that has welcomed him with open arms and never once made him feel like he was different – always included him in every activity they did.

To be honest, when we were first referred to Birth to Three I resented the entire process, each of these women coming into my home, thinking they knew Gavin better – knew what was best for him – what he needed. But as our time together draws to an end, I see them as family. People we look to for advice and guidance, who we couldn’t have gotten through the last two and half years without and who we have all grown to love and will miss dearly.

So time? Time is not my friend right now.

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