2017?   It was a true roller coaster of a year, with serious highs and heartbreaking lows.  I am not sorry to see it go.

I am not one for resolutions.  Yet, as this new year is beginning, this clean slate, I find myself thinking about little life lessons that have sort of hit me over the head during the past 365 days.

Welcome some chaos.  We live pretty orderly lives.  We need to.  It is how people in this house get fed, how appointments are not blown and how homework is generally done on time.  We are a house full of morning people, in bed at hours that seem ridiculous to those who regularly stay up past 10pm.

But once in a blue moon, we find ourselves with a free weekend which aligns with the schedules of one of my childhood friends.  Or an impromptu family gathering with local buds.  Or a quick road trip to see loved ones.  Everyone laughs too loud and stays up late and comes away with stories that we are still telling, almost a year later.

Dive right in.  Couldn’t we all use just a little bit of fearlessness in our lives?  Arms wide open, ready to embrace the opportunity.

Memories can hurt.  And heal.  It is fun to see the memories pop up on Facebook, showing me sweet infant and toddler pictures from many years back, so different from the big kids now sharing my house.  But then photos pop up on Shutterfly and I kind of briefly lose my breath:

While there is sadness for all we have lost, there is also joy.  This is the vibrant person I want in my thoughts, the one I want to share with my children.  It amazes me how I still struggle with keeping the true version of my mother in the present.  So, hard as it may initially be, it is a gift to get a pop up reminder of brighter days.

I am not in this alone. When there is something difficult to get through, people have my back, and we are so much stronger together.  My husband picks up the slack in our home, with our children.  He cooks me my favorite dinner, his slow cooker falafel, to make sure that I am eating.  He gives me strength.  My friends reach out, check in to make sure that I am okay, even when it is hard for all of us to know the right thing to say.  And my family members, those who have known me so much longer than the time that I have been a mother.  We live in different places and see each other sparingly.  But when we are going through the really hard times, we form a unit closer than I ever could have imagined.  Truly, a gift.