I knew that becoming a parent would be challenging, but have you ever just thought about how ridiculous your life as a parent is? Every day, every hour, every second is unpredictable.  I used to be overwhelmed by the day-to-day chaos that is motherhood, but am learning to embrace the craziness.  I have to come to realize that we all have some type of madness lurking in our homes now, and am learning to just laugh about the insanity of it all  So, here is what life is like in my house.  Hopefully, you can relate.

 

 

“I am hungry,” my kid shouts.

“You just had lunch two seconds ago.  Can you wait a little while?” I ask as I am still cleaning the dishes from said lunch.

“No, I need to eat NOW!  I am so hungry I might die.  I want an apple,” my kid says.  So, I hand my child an apple. Fail. “No, I want it peeled!!!!”

I stop doing the dishes.  I peel the apple.  I give my child the apple.  My child takes two bites.  Literally, two bites, before saying, “I’m done!” and sitting the apple back on the counter.

 

 

 

 

 

“Thanks for helping to put the laundry away, kids!”

And, seriously, why is there so much laundry. It is like my laundry has laundry.  All I do is laundry.  And, now I have to re-fold these towels so I can actually shut the drawer.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

                                                      “Mom, the rug is a little wet?”

“Why is the rug wet?”

“I don’t know.  It just is.”

“Well, kid, it appears that you failed to mention the yellow bowl that you filled with water and dumped on the rug.”

 

 

 

Why can I NEVER just get a good picture of my kids?!?  Just one, social media worthy picture of a big event to show off.  WHY!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

After telling my child that it was bedtime 400 times, reading 10 books, 700 sips of water, checking the closet for monsters, turning on and off the nightlight 12 times until the room had just the right light/darkness ratio, 652 kisses and hugs, I finally said, “Do not leave your room again.  Stay in here and go to asleep.”

Apparently, I was not specific enough about the exact location of where he should sleep.

 

 

 

Anyone else’s kids fight non-stop?  They absolutely have to be together at all times, and then fight 99% of those times.  Just take some space already!

 

 

So, my son asked for a photo with Betty Boop.  As I was pulling out my camera, he.did.this.  In front of other patrons.  I was mortified.

Not only do I NEVER know that my kid might do next, and so, I must always be prepared to be embarrassed, but it is almost like they enjoy seeing how many germs they can ingest before getting sick.  And, then, we all get sick!

 

 

 

 

 

Every night, I put my kids to bed in their own beds.  And yet, often times, a few hours later, my bed ends up looking like this.  Glad you boys are sleeping well.  Mommy will just lay my head on that tiny piece of pillow between the face of one child and the leg of the other, and hope to wake up rested and ready to do it all again tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

Only, I will not wake up rested.  Of course not.  How could I?  And so, I will get dressed and attempt to run out of the door to work with the ink tag still on my dress.  It is almost like my appearance is a physical manifestation of what a mess my life can be.

 

Is anyone else living with Jekyll and Hyde?  One minute, he is my sweet prince, giving me kisses, and telling me that I am the only woman for him.  And, then, a simple bump in his sock or the wrong color cup can change everything.  The next minute, he is making demands and telling me that I am the WORST MOM EVER!!!

 

 

Two kids, same household, same parents, totally different personalities. One a little more challenging than the other, but both amazing and difficult in their own ways.  They each have their own set of strengths, weaknesses, and amazing ability to push my buttons.  These two could not be more different, which basically makes tailoring my parenting to their individual needs damn near impossible.  And exhausting.

 

 

 

 

Life is certainly not simple now.  And it definitely requires patience, love, coffee, and a good sense of humor.  But, no matter how exhausting, challenging, and ridiculous things can get these days, it is also somehow better.

                                                           

Exponentially better.