Summary of a Marriage: In Texts

My wife and I have been together for almost 20 years. She’s the calm to my storm and I’m the go to her stop. We fight, and laugh, and hurt, and love just like all couples and one of my favorite things to do in a quiet moment is to read back over our text exchanges. I honestly don’t know how people stayed married before texting. How could I possibly remember the 789762 things I have to tell her in the 1 hour space of time we have after the kids are in bed and before we are passing out, exhausted from our day? Instead, we stay connected by sending each other short (or not so short) messages that, together, provide a good glimpse into this life we have built together.

Of course we have the relaying-necessary-info texts, generally involving the kids. I know she was excited to get this one as it saved her from having to rush the little one out of the tub and into the car to pick up our oldest. (Thanks again friend!) 

Along the same vein are the co-parenting text exchanges. If I had a nickel for every time I said “don’t let the kids leave their crap out everywhere”… ::sigh::

Ahhh, the ever-popular grocery list text exchange. This one cracks me up because it’s in code. ‘Red berries’ is referring to the Special K cereal. Also, my wife has never actually made guacamole in her life so she doesn’t realize there is more than one ingredient I would need to grab from the store to make her guac dreams come true.

I’ve been facing some health issues over the past several months and am on a specific med regimen in order to keep myself feeling well. I’m a terrible sick person and am even worse at remembering to take my meds on schedule. My wife knows this and has done things like stash extra medication in my purse and car, but I’m still useless at it. Somehow she’s had endless patience with my forgetfulness. 15 minutes after this text exchange, I received a phone call where she simply said, “I’ll be at your office in 5 minutes. Meet me downstairs.” That is real romance.

Then, there are those times when we work through some real shit over texts. We’ve been struggling with a family issue and it’s been nice to be able to check in with each other periodically.

Thankfully, not everything is so heavy. She also loves to text me dad jokes through the day and accuses me of cheating when I can figure out her corniness. These often leave a smile on my face long after we’ve each returned to our work.

Last, but certainly not least are the appreciation texts I send her. I’m a go-getter. Constantly going over my to-do list and working towards the next thing. In the craze of our day to day, with me rushing from one thing to the next and the children taking up so much of our energy, it’s easy for me to forget to acknowledge my spouse. I often use text to remind her that I see and value her. 

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