“A mother’s love is the ultimate comfort” – From the movie Dumbo #sheusedtoletmedressher #anddoherhair

By the time my mother was my age, she was a bit of a homebody.  She would decline most out-of-state invitations, explaining that since she worked for herself, there was no money earned when she was away. While true, my mother liked being in her own space, doing her own thing, on her timetable. I think she just preferred being home.

She did, however, make most important life events, graduations and family weddings, some parent weekends.  So on the rare occasions when she traveled for no particular reason, it was like an unbelievable gift.

My mother came up to see me one weekend after I had finished grad school. She took me shopping –  something she hated doing solo, but enjoyed on the rare occasions we could go together.  She ended up buying me a decadent down blanket, fluffy and cozy and warm, like sleeping in a cloud. It reminded me of my mother’s own bedroom.  She was a sucker for Egyptian cotton and the highest thread counts.

When my mother was slowly losing herself, when after years of busy, she suddenly found herself with endless free time, she returned to a love of knitting. She spent hours in a local knitting store, casting on, clicking away. As she progressed, she could no longer follow entire patterns on her own.  But if the kind store owner would break it down for her, piece by piece, for a long while, my mother could do as instructed.

When I was pregnant with my son, the store owner created a pattern for a lovely baby blanket.  My mother was enthralled with it, praising its design, diligently working to provide her unborn first grandchild with a tangible symbol of her love.

She did not disappoint.

Three years later, with significantly more assistance, my mother knitted a similar blanket for my daughter.

Neither child has a recollection of ever visiting with my mother when she was functional. Still, during down times, they often sit on the couch, cocooned in the blankets made by Nana, enveloped in her love, even though they may not recognize it.  They now see a confused older lady in a wheelchair, babbling nonsense, but her previously capable hands fashioned a creative and beautiful way to continue to embrace them.

A few weeks ago, I noticed small white feathers, first in the corner of my bedroom and then on my pajamas. Fancy comforters may last for a really long time, but eventually, of course, they wear out.  Feathers fell out from tears in the blanket, sticking to my clothes and fluttering all over the floor.  I ignored it as long as I could, but it was clear that it was time to put the blanket out of its misery.

But I just did not want to let it go.  It is funny how sometimes an object can make you feel so many things. The blanket warmed me inside and out, reminding me of my mother and her love.

Fortunately, mothers are not the only ones offering comfort and love. My husband, always eager to solve identifiable problems, tasked himself with finding an alternative. After some research, he found a warm, inviting blanket with strong ratings, and, after getting my approval, made the purchase himself.

Find comfort. Accept comfort. Offer comfort. Let yourself be embraced in love. And special blankets.



22 thoughts on “Comforting

  1. Jenna, this brought back so many precious memories of your mom and the two of you spending quality time shopping or going to the ballet. Yes, she loved comfortable beddings. 🙂 I love your message of accepting love and comfort in the many ways it’s offered to us. Life is challanging enough that we all need to remind ourselves to accept and welcome the good, our blessings with the challanged. Sending you hugs. Wish I could give you one in person. You are such a lovely being, like your mom, something else she has given you, taught you. 🙂


    1. Krisztina, thank you for your memories and your kind words. Sometimes what we need is very different from what we would expect. We take our comfort however we can.


  2. You have such a beautiful way of writing and sharing what your family is experiencing. Thank you for sharing. I wish I was close enough to give you a hug! Miss you so much and so very glad this little piece of the internet keeps us close! Love and best wishes!


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