Change is scary AF

2 comments

I have worked in my current high school for the last 9 years of my adult life. Minus obtaining my Master’s Degree, everything I have done in my adult life has happened while working there. I got engaged the year I started, married the year after, had a child, bought a home, had a second child, started a new role, broke my leg, had a separation/divorce/selling of a home, buying a condo, and finding myself.

I find, as most people do, that change is scary AF. I have decided to take a new job next school year which is going to be much closer to home. Making the decision to leave was incredibly difficult, because my job is not only my job, but the people I have met while working there are like family. They were there through all of the changes, good and bad. They lifted me up while I was down, and they encouraged me and gave me strength when I did not think I had it. I would be lying if I said I was not scared on some level that the new school won’t be for me.

I have feared failing at it. Feared the students not liking me. Feared that I won’t make new friends there. Feared that I will suck at my job. I have ignored my gut instincts that this is absolutely the right move for me and my kids, and told myself all of those things. And telling myself all of those things is such a self-fulfilling prophecy. A recipe for negativity and little success.

As I am sitting here typing and re-reading my words, I realize I have already endured some of the biggest changes and challenges one goes through in life already. And I have never made a big decision that yielded a negative result. Have the changes been hard, and scary, and challenging, and tearful, and anxiety producing? Yes. But they have also opened my eyes, opened my heart, opened my mind and challenged me to grow.

Change has showed me that we as humans have incredible control over our path, and the way in which we walk down it. We have the choice to feel negative, and to feel scared. But we also have the choice to be the opposite. We have the choice to embrace those feelings, but to also not let it define me or the experience.

I have an incredible opportunity in front of me to grow in my career, while also being closer to home with my children, in turn allowing me more time with them. Someday I want them to look up to me and see all of the hard work I have put into myself, for me, and for them. To see that I did not stay comfortable, scared or stagnant in my life. That I challenged myself, because I want to be the best version of myself.

If it wasn’t already obvious, this post is clearly a pep talk to myself! Cheers to the next chapter.

Photo credit: Wilder Zandonella

 

 

2 comments on “Change is scary AF”

  1. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and when it is suppose to. I read your article directly after deciding to submit my resume for an entirely new and different position that would bring me closer to home. Like you I “grew up” with my current employer, 21 years in July. Like you the idea of change scares the F__ out of me. BUT also like you as a single mom I want my son to see me pushing outside my comfort zone, and believing in myself through all the anxiety! So thank you for being that small push and reminder that I needed, and the best of luck to you in your new adventures!

    Sincerely,
    Kathy.

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