Since I’ve Been Gone

6 comments

You guys!  It’s been way too long!

 

I have to tell you, for a while now I’ve been thinking my blogging days might be over.  I had a good run, but maybe it’s time to throw in the towel.

 

But then a few things happened that made me reconsider.

 

I should start off by saying that I write for two reasons:  one, because it’s cathartic.  Writing has helped me through some very dark days and I will always be appreciative to you for reading my words during those times.  And two, because I want to connect to the reader in some way.  I will be the first to say, I’m not really here to give advice.  If you’re looking for any “mommy words of wisdom,” I’m sorry to disappoint you but you’re not going to find much of that from me.  I mean, I’m just struggling to keep my own life together, and let me tell you, I am barely hanging on.  But what is important to me is to put my feelings out there hoping you may be able to relate to them in some way.  I write for the possibility of making someone feel less alone, more seen, more understood.  The one thing I tell people about CT Working Moms when they ask is that it’s a non-judgmental, welcoming community, kind of like a sisterhood.  Like, we’re all in on this together, and if we share our stories, our fears, our insecurities, we learn ultimately we’re more alike than different.  And that’s comforting.

 

I’ve written about my post-partum depression – which was terrifying – but I know I’m not alone in my experience, and maybe there are others who need to hear they’re not alone either. I wrote about getting a divorce, becoming a single mom, trying (and failing miserably) to date, my insecurities, my MOM GUILT, etc.  I wrote about those things because there may be someone reading those words, nodding their head, understanding the feelings I talk about because they have them too.

 

That being said, I have been struggling to find topics to write about lately. My older son is eight years old now and can easily Google my name and read any and all articles I’ve written, so I have to tread lightly.  That’s when I started to think it might be time to stop writing, or at least not publishing anything anymore.

 

That’s when I received a message from a single dad. From seemingly out of the blue, this guy sent me a message through Facebook and said, “Please keep writing, even when it’s hard.”

 

Even when it’s hard.

 

That made me think…maybe it’s important to write…

especially when it’s hard.

 

Then another single dad reached out to me (who knew so many dads followed CTWMs?  So cool!) to tell me how my writing inspired him to be more present with his son and helped him become a better father and better man.

 

Wait…what?  I inspired someone?

 

Seriously, you guys, I cannot think of a better compliment than to say something I wrote inspired someone to be better.

 

So after some soul searching (and some heart to heart conversations with my friends), I decided to continue to put myself out there – in all my vulnerability – hoping it might touch someone.

 

Ok, but now comes the hard part:  what to write about.

 

So, I’ll ask you.

 

What do you want to hear about?

 

Are you sick of me?  If not, let me know what you think I should write about.

 

And thank you for taking the time to read.  It means more than you know.

What if it all scares you?

 

Had to read this twice but I completely agree.

 

 

…but I have so much self doubt!

 

 

Well, looks like you’ll be hearing more about my kids!

 

 

Pretty sure I don’t need more aggression in my life…

 

 

Ok…I’ll do it.

6 comments on “Since I’ve Been Gone”

  1. Thank you for this post. I’m soon to be a divorced mom and can’t wait to pour over your other posts. I’m already inspired.

    1. Thank you Kristen. I hope my words can be some sort of comfort during this difficult time. Nothing about the process is easy, but you will be amazed how strong you really are. Sending you tons of positive vibes ❤ Jess

  2. Your writing has helped me so much at times. You have a gift that NEEDS to be shared with the world. Just keeping writing about your authentic life and everything will be OK.

  3. The truth is, CTworking moms has been my light from the other side of the country in the difficult times when you feel so alone once baby arrives. So THANK YOU for being so courageous and strong for writing and publishing your work, because it helps. A lot.

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