Taking A Chance On Myself

Tomorrow is my final day at a job that I’ve loved for 8 years. I’ve imagined this moment many times. Wondering what life would be like if I decided to move on. But, I had convinced myself that this was it – I was a lifer! So, when I decided to leave, I surprised everyone around me – including myself.

First off – I recognize that I am lucky – I’ve had a job that I’ve loved for 8 years. Not many can say that. And though there’s been many ups and downs, I am so thankful for my experience and growth here. I am also thankful and appreciative to have had the best coworkers that I will probably ever have in my life.

Now I’m sure you’re probably wondering, If it’s so great – why are you leaving? The truth is, in my comfort I started to lose myself. Since becoming a mom, every decision I’ve made is about my kids. It’s about my family. So, there I am, at a job that I love, surrounded by people I love – yet, I found myself stressed and unhappy. Then the stress began to follow me out of the workplace and into my home.  Another layer upon my shoulders.

When you feel a certain way, you have to really take the time to take a look at yourself. I was in a funk and gaslighting myself based on my love and loyalty for my employer and my coworkers. I am a person of comfort and though I can easily adapt, I will avoid change if I can. But, I started to recognize that I had no choice. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the funk. I realized that I had reached a plateau and it was time to find a new mountain to climb.

To be the best mom, wife, and friend to the people I loved, I needed to take a chance on myself. Years ago I had career goals – and over time, in my comfort, the goals started to fade away. They seemed less attainable. But, as I started the interview process of what will now be my new job, I started to feel invigorated again. I saw a future where I could potentially reach the goals I set for myself so long ago. And while I knew this move would shake up my home life a lot, I also knew that I owed it to my children – to show them they never have to settle.

Whether it’s work or personal relationships – comfort isn’t always good. Recognizing that you need to leave a comfortable situation is hard. In the words of Patty Smyth and Don Henley, “There’s a reason why people don’t stay where they are, baby, sometimes love just ain’t enough.”

And my love for my workplace – a place that I spend the majority of my days, wasn’t enough anymore. I needed more, and I am finally letting go of the guilt I feel for leaving. This new chapter brings about many changes for my family – pushing us all out of our comfortable routine. But, my hope is that in turn, we will finally find more balance as a family.

So, here’s to new beginnings! I’m scared, but ready. 😊

9 thoughts on “Taking A Chance On Myself

  1. Congratulations on taking a chance on yourself again! When I was looking into going to grad school, the head of my program mentioned equifinality which is “the property of allowing or having the same effect or result from different events.” It always reminds me that it’s never too late to go for your goals.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Brandi! I appreciate the support. That is a helpful reminder to keep in mind, because honestly, sometimes it feels like change can’t or won’t ever happen.

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  2. I love this so much! I related very much. I prefer comfort to change but made a job change a few months ago and it has been absolutely amazing. I LOVE my job. I’m learning new things, making new relationships, and there’s room for growth. So proud of you for embarking on this new journey!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Michelle! I’m so glad to hear you can relate. It’s been an emotional rollercoaster, but it’s always good to know that others understand what I’m going through!

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