Love in the Time of, Well, All of This

Some people found themselves getting closer with their partners during Covid. It was a great coming together. Single people found folks to settle in with over that long, hard first Covid winter. A bunch of my friends got pregnant with “Covid babies.” Not me, I went through a good, old-fashioned break up with my long-term partner. Covid brought to the surface all of the tiny cracks in our relationship: his untreated anxiety, our different political views, our beliefs about medicine, and most importantly, his not being a parent and having no understanding of why I made keeping Rosie safe a priority. In a way, it was an excellent test of the Emergency Relationship System. Except we failed. In all the ways. So, I ended up a single parent during a pandemic while the world was appearing to crumble all around.

In so many ways, I look back at the past two and a half years and I am grateful. At first, I’m not going to lie, it was HARD. I found myself both a full-time professional parent and a stay-at-home parent. Lawyering and running e-learning and “Camp Mom.” But then, once Rosie went back to in-person school, I hit a great balance. Now I get to telework. And I meet the school bus every day. My relationship with Rose has reached this epic Lorelei and Rory closeness which may have happened anyway, but I credit our hikes and tea/reading “dates” every afternoon.

The thing is, as much as Rosie has grown into an amazing conversationalist and hiking partner, I’m still missing all of the important, lovely things you get from an adult partner. So I’ve decided I’m going to try dating again. As I embark on this new dating adventure, I feel like so much has changed since the last time I did this. I have to be so much more discriminating and I have a different set of criteria. I’m no longer the girl who can date someone who has vastly different political views. And it is tremendously important that I’m with someone who is also a parent. Someone who understands the weight and responsibility of this job. Because, if Covid has taught me anything it’s that Rosie comes first. And with any good luck I’ll meet someone who wants to join us on our adventures rather than just see me on my nights off. Tall order? Maybe. But it’s worth it.          

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