I have heard many parents say that when they are with their children, they long for a break. And when they have a break, they long for their children. I am not immune to this by any means. Many days are spent yelling and not because I do not want to do better. But because sometimes I am too tired or overwhelmed. And sometimes, I just do not know how. But please know that every night I long for a better tomorrow.
Ya know, the funny thing about change is that it’s not always welcomed. And let me tell you, it certainly wasn’t welcomed by me. I wasn’t prepared. I wasn’t ready. Everything happened way too fast.
If you or a loved one is suffering from problems with drugs, alcohols, gambling, depression, postpartum or anything else that ails the soul – please know there is help and there is hope. No one is alone, no matter how down they feel.
Tonight a neighbor walked by and casually said, “Well now what are you going to do when you have three?” Right. She said it. Stone-faced and with no follow up giggle. My reaction was natural: “Wait, did I ask you? Right, keep walking your dog.” (ok fine, originally the f-word was littered in there). But
All of our lists go on and on…. we pick and choose our battles. For example, I have given up on the bandaid stuck to the carpet upstairs. But my microwave is always clean. This is the merry-go-round of motherhood, full of contradictory feelings and experiences.
As women, even when we are not compatible, we should respect one another and their own personal choices for themselves and their families, but a). not everyone has gotten that message yet, and b). even if they do, it means they will do you no mommy harm, but it does not necessarily mean you will be great friends.
My once tight, tiny body now has stretch marks and loose skin that covers my stomach and hangs where the umbilical hernia once poked through. And, since I am not only a mother— I am also a wife and a woman—naturally, I want to look attractive and sexy on this vacation.
I have to be super stay-at-home-mom, not just regular great stay-at-home-mom. Just don’t make me stay at home…
… I come in, listen a bit about what the problem is, and solve it quickly by giving the toy back to the original handler or helping to rebuild the knocked down project, which solves the problem quickly so we can move on. At best, maybe I am modeling how to solve each problem, but mostly I am just problem solving and they are just watching, waiting to see if whatever injustice their sibling bestowed upon them will be righted.
But loving my husband in that way does not mean that we do not have bad days, or weeks, or months. It does not mean that I see everything he does through rose-colored glasses. It doesn’t even mean that I always like him or what he does. In fact, after ten plus years together, there are days when that man drives me downright crazy. And we argue. Boy, do we argue.