My baby is growing up

Feb 23, 2015 by

As if Lenny turning one last month wasn’t enough of a reminder, we have hit some milestones lately that have shown us just how much our little baby is turning into a little boy.

Most notably, Lenny started in a new room at daycare this morning. He is no longer an “Infant”; he is now a “Waddler.” With his new group of friends, he’s expected to eat solid foods instead of taking a bottle; he takes one long mid-day nap instead of a morning and an afternoon nap; he plays in the gym instead of crawling around his classroom. These are all things he’s been doing on his own at home for a while now, but now the other kids in his classroom are doing them too. We will miss his teachers and friends in the Infant room, but I’m so excited to see how he’ll grow and develop with daily arts and crafts, visits from The Music Lady, group snack time in real mini tables and chairs instead of high chairs, and interaction with kids who are already talking. Okay yes, I’m excited, but can we also slow time down just a teeny little bit?

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Parenting through the hard stuff

Feb 16, 2015 by

Those who know me well know that, when Lenny was six months old, he had his lip and tongue ties revised. I can say it matter of factly now, but at the time I was an emotional mess.

Finding out that something was “wrong” with Lenny was a huge stressor for me. I had always suspected something wasn’t one hundred percent correct with the way Lenny latched on to nurse but, with the early help of a lactation consultant and sheer determination to keep breastfeeding, we made it work. It probably helped that Lenny was sent to daycare at such a young age, and was drinking formula to supplement the breast milk he was getting, so that he was gaining weight on target. It wasn’t until I read Katie’s post about her daughter’s revision that made me think something similar could be the cause of our own issues. Lo and behold, a quick lift of Lenny’s lip and lots of research later confirmed my hunch. He had a lip tie and probably a tongue tie.

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The stress of establishing traditions

Jan 26, 2015 by

I’ve never been overly sentimental. I have a box of childhood mementos packed away but only because my mom saved them for me. My wedding dress hangs in my closet, but it is dirty and the lace is tattered at the bottom, the result of an awesome backyard wedding where I was barefoot for most of the reception; it will not be a pristine, preserved dress I pass down to my daughter, if I ever have a daughter. I have cards from our wedding saved, but slightly out of obligation–shouldn’t I want to look back in these in fifty years?  I just found them while sorting through our guest bedroom and, only three and a half years into our marriage, am considering getting rid of them to make room in the box for other things I want to save instead, whatever that may be. Does that make me a terrible person?

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Returning to work after unemployment

Jan 19, 2015 by

Tomorrow I return to work after four and a half months of unemployment. Sometimes, if I look back, it feels like forever that i’ve been out of work. Other times, the time home with my son seems to have flown by. I was home with him for a third of his life. When I think of it that way, it seems both impossibly long and also kind of neat at the same time.

I never really saw myself as a stay at home mom and, the truth is, I was terrified being at home with Lenny all day, every day, like we were while on maternity leave. Only, this wasn’t maternity leave, and I wasn’t home with a newborn. Being at home all day with an older baby is completely different. We had more structure to our days, enjoyed more interactive play, and outings and play dates were the norm. I didn’t feel the isolation that I felt while on maternity leave, despite my initial fears when I lost my job.

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“Are you going to try for another baby?”

Jan 12, 2015 by

“Are you going to try for another baby?”

Oddly enough, I get this question from complete strangers more than I do from my family and friends.  Probably, it’s because my friends and family are sensitive to our infertility and know that the simple question warrants a complicated answer. And probably because strangers are needlessly nosy. I’ve been asked this question while in the checkout line with my son at the grocery store, by other moms at the library, and even by the photographer who took our holiday photos this year. When did others’ reproductive choices become the topic of casual conversation?  I mean, what answer would they like?

I’ll have another baby when I have better health insurance that will pay for IVF?

I’ll have another baby when I can save up $12,000 or so to pay out of pocket for another IVF cycle, and hope that it works on the first try because it would take winning the lottery to afford one, let alone more than one?

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