Birthday Party Stream of Consciousness #unfiltered

May 6, 2015 by

I’m not much use these days. All I have on my mind is my daughter’s upcoming birthday bash at our house. Her first real kid party, with her real live friends. I am a kid party rookie. It is so exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. So please allow me to empty the contents of my brain #unfiltered here in this blog post today. Thanks.

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One month out I realize Mia’s birthday is around the corner. She’s 5! How the heck did that happen? Oh shit, she wants a party. I love party planning! But I am in middle of the craziest, busiest, most stressful time at work. And we have never really done a kids party before. Eeek. Suck it up and throw your daughter a fun party, she deserves it! Ok. Do I do written invites? What kind? Where do I buy them? Do I have to write them all out and look up addresses? I only have Christmas stamps!!! Screw it – Evite it is!

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Reconnecting With My Daughter

Apr 22, 2015 by

Parenting is a delicate balance.  Since we had our second child 14 months ago, hubby and I have managed to survive via the whole divide and conquer parenting method. My husband is the one who tends mostly to my older daughter’s needs and I spend most of my time making sure the baby doesn’t wander off into traffic or something.

Rare moment with all four of us.

Rare moment with all four of us.

But lately I feel myself a little distanced from my daughter.  It seems this mode of divide and conquer survival in our home has unintentionally created a slight family divide and I miss my girl.  My firstborn. The one I carried in my belly for nine months and nurtured through infancy to now while a scared shitless first time mom. And I know she misses me. So I have started to spend more time reconnecting with her in various ways:

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My Everyday Courage

Apr 8, 2015 by

Today was a pretty poopy day. A runny, poopy diaper kind of day.  Sorry to be so graphic, but it really did stink. After a wonderful weekend away visiting family over the Easter holiday, coming back home to reality was rough. All day, I felt like I was being pecked at from every direction by my responsibilities. After about the 12th negative electronic communication, I tossed my phone away and just wanted to give up on all of the projects I have been working on. I felt like Tippi Hedren’s character in the Alfred Hitchcock movie, “The Birds.”

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As I was staring out the family room window watching the rain fall and feeling sorry for myself, I noticed a cardinal pecking around our yard. Instead of running for cover, I gazed at its bold, red color that seemed to glow through the bare trees, adding illumination to the dreariest of days.  This bird seemed to emanate strength and courage as he flew around doing his thing, answering to no one, doing what he could to survive.

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Parenting Without Parents

Mar 25, 2015 by

My entrance into this world was a bit controversial. My parents were well into middle age when they had me.  My father was 57 and my mom, 44 years young. Sure this may not be uncommon now, but back in the late 1970s, this was completely unheard of.  In fact, my mom’s doctor, upon delivering the news of her pregnancy and thinking I was an “Oops Baby,” said he could “take care of it” if my parents wanted. He was concerned about the health risks associated with her having a baby later in life. My mother was horrified at the thought and told him that she intentionally set out to have a sibling for my sister, who was almost five at the time. My parents beat the odds and the conventional wisdom at the time and had me anyway.

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Up All Night

Mar 11, 2015 by

It was one of those days.  Not enough hours in the day to be a fully-present parent, fully-functioning worker, and fully-attentive wife.  At 9 pm there was still work to be done, despite having started my day 14.5 hours ago. There was still so much work to be done.  Meetings to be scheduled.  Emails to be returned.  Tomorrow’s work day to be planned out. Blog posts to write.  A fabulous Spring Gala for my daughter’s school that I have to plan.  And of course, the next day was our turn to bring snack in for the whole class.  And there were still children to feed, bathe, love, and put down to sleep.  And dishes to wash and well, you get the picture.

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