To find out or not find out

SO as you all know my hubby and I are trying for our second child which is great but me being a planner and control freak I start to think about things that I may or may not want to do the same or differently with the next pending pregnancy and birth.

With my first child I decided to be TEAM GREEN or a mother who did not decide to find out the sex of my baby. I absolutely loved being surprised because lets be honest as adults we get lots of surprises but a majority are not happy. This was a happy surprise of epic proportion.

It's a fifty fifty shot is not going to be a beaver..
It’s a fifty fifty shot people…it is not going to be a beaver..

One advantage I did not realize until later about being team green is in regards to the baby shower. Because nobody knows whether it is a boy or girl they do not buy you newborn or little outfits and actually buy from your registry. I did not realize this until I started going to friends and families showers that people cannot help but buy adorable outfits for your children (I am totally guilty of this) but honestly they are useless. I never will use a baby tuxedo when he is 2 months old, and they usually just wear footed pajamas, or onesies.

Another advantage was all of my baby gear is neutral and will be used with our future children. I will not be stuck with a blue infant car seat if I have a little girl. I know its not a big deal but it is nice to not feel like I am so gender specific for one kid and not the other.

So I LOVED being team green but think I may find out if I get pregnant again. I am not dead set because it was so much fun, but think it could be good for me to know if I need to buy some girlie clothes later on or can go into the basement for the baby pimp outfit.

Now this is any outfit I should get for a baby shower...
Now this is any outfit I should get for a baby shower…

So ladies I am hear asking you? When I get knocked up again should I go team green or find out the sex? Did you find out with all children? Some or none? Reasons?

10 thoughts on “To find out or not find out

  1. My husband wanted to find out, but I didn’t, mainly because I would rather be 100% surprised than have that small chance of an incorrect prediction (we know someone who had this happen to them). So, we were team green — although, based on the gifts we received, I think team yellow is more appropriate!


  2. I think it depends on how you feel about each gender. If the parents are longing for a boy and then they find out the fetus is a girl, there is no compensating rush of love at seeing your sweet healthy newborn baby’s face, just an abstract semi-disappointment. If the parents are cool either way, then I think it’s fun to know.


  3. We didn’t find out with either our almost-3 year old or our newborn (both girls, as it turned out). I am a control freak/planner/Type A sort of person, so this was surprising to pretty much everyone who knows me IRL, but I just didn’t want to know until delivery. It really is one of the biggest surprises in life. I found it motivating in the last stages of labor to know that soon we would find out if we had a son or daughter. My OB, his staff, and the hospital staff kept the secret each time with no problem. If we have a third baby we will probably not find out until delivery either; all of our gear is gender neutral and by now we have a decent gender neutral layette (although we do have a ton of girl clothes too).


  4. I couldnt imagine not knowing. My mom always says its the one real suprise in life, but Im a planner, I have to be prepared. What do I need, what color do I need it in, what to tell the other kids? As much as I know it woiuld be a great moment, I dont think i would ever be able to truly wait 40 weeks… 16-20 is good enough for me!! I give props to anyone who can do it


  5. We needed to find out, too. Part of this was a cultural thing – DH is the only male in his generation carrying his family’s name (my FIL had one brother who had all girls. All other siblings are sisters) and having a boy is a very important thing that requires all sorts of weird ceremonial things to be done. I think for my second pregnancy if I were to have one (which we are not planning to), we’d be surprised.

    As an aside, if one of my two was not a boy – for example, if I had twin girls – there would be no question that we would be obligated to try for another baby. I don’t even know if I would have much say in that matter.


  6. When I was pregnant, I couldn’t wait to find out if the “bean” was a boy or girl…but I am a control freak and just had to know…That said, I don’t know if I would find out with #2 – most of the “surprise” aspect of parenthood you already know about after having #1 (you already know the first 6 mos are going to be HELL), so it’s nice to think that there is something to look forward to! šŸ™‚


  7. I didn’t find out for either of my two boys for the reason you first didn’t find out. There are so few great surprises left in life with all the technology so those two moments were super special. My first delivery was a c-section so hubby and I heard at the same time what the gender was, the second delivery was a VBAC and he got to see before I did. I will NEVER forget the look on his face when that baby came out!!! So Katie, you should do what feels right at the time, though all the suprises are fantastic!!!!


  8. I couldn’t wait to find out the sex of Lills. She had other plans and wouldn’t show us for an additional month lol. I think you should do whatever you feel is best! I support you either way and I know every one else will too šŸ™‚


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