Guilty Wishes

We all have guilty pleasures…you know what I’m talking about, something that we enjoy despite feeling guilty for enjoying it. It could be watching ‘American Pickers’, standing in front of the open freezer eating ice cream out of the container, cyber stalking the cute guy from the cafeteria, you get the point.

Rather than guilty pleasures, have you ever looked at your children and had guilty wishes? As parents we spend night and day hoping our children are happy, healthy, well-rounded, and safe. But…have you ever looked at your daughter on the playground and thought to yourself, “God, I really wish she doesn’t end up with my Aunt Betty’s cankles!” As guilty as you might feel for wasting time thinking about a superficial characteristic, there are some parents who genuinely would be pissed if their gorgeous little girl inherited Aunt Betty’s cankles, and you know what, as parents, we should be embracing each other’s guilty wishes.

Yes, as parents, at the end of the day, we all want the same basic things for our children; to survive and thrive in this crazy world, but let’s cede the judgement and work on being more open with one another about the less important, superficial, fun, and wacky things we REALLY wish for our children, but feel too guilty about to share.

This is me, not judging the guilty wishes you have for your children.

Allow me to start:

I wish that at least one of my children is a good athlete. Good, as in, captain of the varsity basketball team, name in the paper, and plays in college. Some days when I’m working on throwing, catching, and bike riding skills with my 3 and 4-year-old, and they exhibit extreme clumsiness, and a total lack of interest in all things physical, I want to cry.

I wish for my girls to have good hair. Right now my oldest daughter has straight, light brown hair. My middle daughter has dirty blonde hair that is curly, in an unruly way, and my youngest daughter is, for the most part, bald, with strawberry blonde hair. I really hope that they all end up with beautiful hair, I would really hate for two of them to have beautiful hair, and one to be stuck with thin, messy, tresses.

I wish for my girls to make fun, smart, responsible, caring, life long friends who will support them through all the craziness that life throws at them.

I wish that my girls do not inherit the body shape from my Nana’s side of the family (sorry Nana, just being honest and keeping it real). To give you an idea, my Gigi (my Nana’s mother), may she rest in peace, has always been described by her children as five feet tall and five feet wide.

I wish that my girls do not end up with my husband’s toe nails, enough said.

I wish for my girls to be the life of the party (Yes, I realize this could come back and bite me in the ass later.)

Share away, what are the guilty wishes you have for your children. It’s judgement free here people, so come on, let the superficialness flow…you will feel better, I promise!


9 thoughts on “Guilty Wishes

  1. Ooh, I love pondering this, especially since my kids are grown up. I just wanted them to be happy, which wasn’t so easy for either of them, for different reasons. I wanted them to be unequivocally honest and not to be petty. I wanted them to care about others. I wanted them not to have to struggle in dealing with life, but they both did at various times, and now I realize it was character-building.

    I wanted them to love reading and listening to music, and one of those came true. I wanted them to be musicians and they both played bass guitar for a while. I wanted them to be funny, and they really are! I wanted them to be polite and have a quiet confidence — not arrogance, but the ability to look people in the eye and shake their hands with conviction.

    I did not want them to feel entitled, and to understand you don’t get everything you want the minute you want it. I hoped that they would enjoy spending time with me, and I think that came true. I worried A LOT about what sort of women they would choose, but we all got very lucky with that! Love those DILs (one is future DIL but still fab). I wanted them to treasure their partners and do things to make their partners feel special, and they REALLY do that in a magnificent way. I wanted them to have careers that gave them satisfaction more than careers that gave them money, but it’s looking like they accomplished both.

    Since I ended up divorced from their father, I worried they would have some of his more weasly traits, but luckily for them, they weren’t raised by HIS mother! Hahaha.

    As for neuroses, yep, they inherited some of mine, BUT it makes me able to understand them and to explain to them why they are the way they are. Given that no one really escapes neuroses, it’s good to speak the same neurotic language as your kids.

    Last but not least, I wanted to teach them to be patient in traffic jams, defying an XY trait that has existed since the Flintstone era, and I failed miserably. But I tried! I think they are superbly handsome, but I did worry about how that would turn out, back in the pimply days.

    This was fun to think about, Sarah!


  2. I wish for my children to not inherit my anxious somewhat neurotic Type A personality. While it’s great for organizing and party planning, the trade of isn’t something I want my boys to have to deal with. I also wish my boys are athletic and get themselves a nice basketball scholarship to UConn. ๐Ÿ˜€ Even though neither of their parents’ play basketball (I watch it all season, that counts right?!?!). I hope they marry someone I like!!


  3. I, too, wish that my daughter does not inherit my husband’s toenails.
    And I wish that she grows up with a strong sense of self, and I wish that she smile when she looks in the mirror, and I wish that she keeps her quirky sense of humor- she’s gonna need it when she’s 6′ tall at 13 years like her Momma!


  4. LOL, what do your husband’s toenails look like??

    I wish my daughter keeps her adorable little booty – it’s shaped like her dad’s and (that’s about a bazillion times better than her mom’s!!!).

    I wish that my son keeps his really ironic sense of humor and dark brooding personality. That will make him super cool with the ladies when he’s older. I slo wish that my son continues to develop his love of music – he has an incredible ear, and an innate talent for it. I hope that he can keep this up.

    And for both…I wish my children NEVER END UP with any traits of my in laws. ๐Ÿ˜‰


  5. I wish that my kids will still want to cuddle/be lovey with me when they’re older like I am with my mom. I’ll be so bummed if they become back-patters and air kissers instead of bear-huggers and lippers! But I also wish that they will have a good thick skin and not be wimpy.


  6. I wish for my boys that they are SMART and ATHLETIC and that they get either an academic scholarship or atheltic schoarship to play a sport in college. I also wish that my youngest not “out grow” his great-grandpa’s walk (read bow legged) gait. He is gone and it is the special thing that I think he left them with. I also wish that one of them wants to be a fireman.


  7. Oh, this is great! I wish my boys inherit my hubby’s feet (not looking so good for my 8 year old) and NOT either one of our noses. I wish all my boys turn out to be FANTASTIC lovers for their wives! And I hope they all keep strengthening their psychic abilities! HA! That was fun!


  8. I wish that both of my boys will keep their daddy’s blue eyes but somehow transform their plain brown, straight hair into dark curls like mine. I also wish that one of them will be the president of the debate club or participate in Odyssey of the Mind or something nerdy.


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