Strangers Say the Darndest Things…

Apr 23, 2012 by bernhardsonbunch

We’ve all been there. You’re standing in line at the grocery store, minding your own business, maybe scanning the tabloid headlines as you think about what to make for dinner. Suddenly, you see someone, usually either a much older woman or a childless woman, smile knowingly and start to spout unsolicited advice about parenting. “Your poor baby”, she begins as she grabs your baby’s tiny fingers with her goodness-knows-what infested hands, “No shoes on those sweet little feet, just those thin little socks. He must be freezing!”. You ponder an icy stare, perhaps a lecture on pediatric podiatry and the fact that your baby does not yet even stand, or a note about the 80 degree temperatures outside, but take a breath and laugh it off.

UGH. 

There are some things that strangers say to moms of young children that I just cannot figure out. I’m not talking about discussions between friends with children of similar ages where you’re bouncing ideas off each other, I’m talking about complete and utter strangers who feel it’s their duty to share little pearls of uninvited wisdom with you about what you might be doing wrong in your job as a mom. Here are my least favorite ones:

1. Are you nursing or feeding formula?

Um, why do you care? I guarantee I am indeed feeding him. Look at those chub rolls! From what I’ve seen, perfect strangers seem to really care quite a lot about what I’m doing or not doing with my boobs.

2. Wow, he’s so tiny! / Wow, he’s enormous!

My first son was, and is, a big guy. People constantly told me he was huge, and I constantly wondered if they were implying that I was overfeeding him. My second son is average, and I’ve had several people comment on how incredibly tiny he is. Both have shaken my confidence.

3. How is he sleeping?

When I was a bit greener in my job as a mommy, I would answer this honestly when strangers asked (and they do, often!). I’d say “Oh not that well yet, still up a few times at night”. I once got a 15 minute lecture from a woman in a bagel shop about how I was ruining my child for life (who was 5 WEEKS old, by the way) because I didn’t let him cry it out. I’ve since come up with the stock answer “Like a baby!”. If you have/had a baby…you know what this really means

4. What percentile is he in?

Not kidding. More than one time I’ve had women ask what growth percentile my child falls into, as if this is normal, every day chit-chat.

5. He seems like a mamma’s boy.

No, he’s smart. Just because my 3 year old refuses to talk to a total stranger staring into the window of his little grocery store car on the front of the shopping cart doesn’t make him a mamma’s boy (not that there’s anything wrong with mamma’s boys, by the way!). He just doesn’t talk to people he doesn’t know and who are in his personal space for no good reason.

6. Anything that starts with “What you really need to try is…” and finishes with parenting advice.

An older woman in the check out line, who I had never even seen before mind you, once asked why my then 9 month old was so small. I answered, “He’s actually dead-on average sized, so I’m not worried.” I thought this was a pretty polite yet clear “Let’s discuss something else” response, but she followed up with lengthy advice about how, “What you really need to do is buy the pureed meats and vegetables and put them with a little formula, and maybe even some rice cereal, into a bottle. Just enlarge the hole in the nipple a bit, and let him have that so he can grow a little faster. He’s much too old to be nursing.” I was speechless.

What are your obnoxious stranger questions? I’d love to hear them!

Cloth Diapers and Daycare – My Problem

Apr 16, 2012 by danielle625

We are a cloth diapering family. My youngest child Addison is in cloth full time while my middle son Benjamin is only in them part time. Now I know it sounds strange because I have never heard of a part time cloth diapering mom. Unfortunately for me our daycare isn’t interested in learning about cloth diapers so I have to buy a pack of disposable diapers to send to school with Ben every couple weeks.

The entire reason I switched over to cloth was based on money. Diapers are freaking expensive and the math is killing me!

A pack of diapers that will last us two weeks for daycare cost roughly $20.
That is on top of the price we pay for just 12 hours a week for the un-potty trained toddler.
On top of the amount of money I put into school lunch.
All this just so I can have a little bit of piece and quiet the mornings my oldest son is in pre-school to get some work done.

In the end I am adding about $60-$80 a month in all the extra expenses, not including tuition.

I wish I could find a daycare center in my town that would even consider taking part in our cloth diapering process because I feel so defeated by the whole situation. Trying so desperately to save money and cut back only to have the diaper bill thrown right back into the mix.

This is where I ask for input from any other working mothers out there who…

1) Use Daycare
2) Cloth Diaper

What do you do?
Do you have a daycare center that works with you?
Do you just deal with the whole disposable diaper thing?

How do you handle it?

But You Don’t NEED a Cleaning Lady

Apr 13, 2012 by danielle625

On an average day I wake up and realize I am already late for everything I need to do for the day. Rush to get the children out of bed and ready to drop off at school/daycare. The process of getting out the door with three kids all ages four and under isn’t as easy as most would think but I will leave that for another post on another day.

Once we are in the car everyone gets strapped in and off we go. We get there and I pile everyone back out of the car and drop them off, sign them in, all that fancy fun shit daycare requires us to do in an attempt to keep track of all the kids they have there. Then comes theslight moment of peace as I walk out the door and head back to the car with only one child.  The easiest one of them all.

The Dunkin’ drive through is on the way home and then my morning consists of work and praying to the god of work-at-home-moms that my daughter will cooperate for the four hours her brothers are someplace else. Most mornings she is an angel, sitting and playing in her playpen or bedroom with her toys until she gets tired and crashes, often while playing with her toys…. See Exhibit A below.

Cute?  Yup! I thought so too!

During this time I either lock myself in my office or use my laptop in the living room praying I can get every shred of work I have on my to-do list for the day done. Work wise. Not the mountain of laundry that is eating the boy’s bedroom closet or the garbage in the kitchen that has had to go out for two days. Just the work stuff that must get done.

No work = No pay.

I am sure you get that picture.

Just around the time I am wrapping up all I had to do in between being Mommy to the smallest Elwood, it is about time to go and pick the older kids up from school. I often double check if my clocks are working properly because it never feels like the full four hours.

Typically afternoons are for snacks, activities, chores outside the home that need to get done and of course cleaning.

Cleaning… the bane of my existence. Something that has always been like pulling teeth. Ask my mom… she will tell you, I have never been a cleaner!

Laundry is  no big deal, the washer does all the work. Dishes don’t bother me too much as long as all I have to do is push the button to start the dish washer. I know I am starting to sound lazy but for-real… I have three kids!

Then I have to start to think about dinner, the dreaded D word. Which often sends me so over the edge combined with my cleaning to-do list that we end up going out for dinner and then I scrap everything left on my cleaning list. This is a pattern that happens at least 3-4 times a week.

I figured out a solution to the problem. A cleaning lady. Not a maid, or a nanny. Not someone that is in my house daily.Believe me though, if I could afford one I would have one! But someone who comes once a week or once every two weeks and cleans for me. Not the little things I can actually handle without going postal, but the stuff like mopping, dusting, windows… the shit that goes ignored because mommy is way too busy.

I bought this idea up to my husband and of course in his supportive manner he said we would talk about seeing if it could fit into our budget. But outsiders – man are they fucking brutal!

“Why do you need a cleaning lady? You are a stay-at-home-mom!”

“Its not like you work outside the home!”

“Are you that lazy?”

Yup – that is it!  You got me!

I am lazy! That is the root of my entire problem!

Three busy kids with three busy schedules and I am just lazy.

Sigh!

No, I would just like to sleep again sometime this century or actually have a whole half hour for myself without worrying about Benjamin’s lunch for the next day or Camden’s fire trucks being all over the house. If I worked outside the home, the idea wouldn’t have been half as laughable but because I work in the home its the end of the damn world. Come on people!

A Day in the Life of a Working Mom: Carly

Mar 20, 2012 by carlycorrigan

I thoroughly enjoyed reading the “A Day in the Life of a Working Mom” series and thought it would be fun to do one of my own. Plus it might help you get to know me a little better seeing as how I’m the new kid on the block!

Today is Wednesday. Almost half-way through the work week (silent cheer)! This is my day from beginning to end.

2:38am – Up to pee (story of a pregnant woman’s life). Tried unsuccessfully to fall back asleep. Have you seen the movie “I Don’t Know How She Does It” with Sarah Jessica Parker?  I can relate to the main character (played by Parker) who lays in bed at night creating her list of things to do. I found myself mentally creating a list of to-do’s at 3:00am. Ick… *On a side note I do recommend renting this movie. I mean, it’s no “Sex and the City” but if you’re looking for a cute movie to watch and you have some spare time… haha… spare time. That’s funny.

Dozed back into dreamland sometime after 3:10am

5:33am -  I hear a little voice over the monitor. Caroline’s talking to herself.  Very cute but mommy is still very tired! She’s pretty content so I decide to steal a few more minutes of much needed sleep.

5:55am – First sound of the alarm. That dreadful beep. Hubby hits the snooze.

6:05am – snooze button again

6:15am – Ok, ok! We’re up. And running late. This should make for an interesting morning. The morning routine begins and Jim goes upstairs to get change Caroline’s diaper and get her dressed. I get a sippy cup of milk and some yogurt ready on her highchair to tide her over until she eats breakfast at daycare.

6:28am – Jim brings Caroline downstairs… in tears. (I’m not a morning person either!) I still get my morning hug though and the tears subside. While she enjoys her yogurt, I quickly try to get ready for work. Getting dressed has become more of a challenge these days. Being eight months pregnant now my choices (aka what fits) are limited. No time for the curling iron or hair straightener this morning. Pony tail it is!

6:40am – I hear, “Mommy! All done!” come from the other room and this is what I find.

 I clean her up and let her have a turn with the wet towel so she can “help” clean up her mess too.

6:43am – We brush our teeth. Caroline uses her Dora toothbrush first and then I have a turn to “get the spots she missed.”

6:48am – 6:53am – time for shoes and coat. It’s a bit of a struggle this morning. She wanted no part of it. Mommy (with some help from Daddy) won that battle.

6:55am – Kisses and hugs for Daddy and we are finally out the door! (Quite the accomplishment this morning)… Buckled and ready to go!

I always enjoy our car rides together. It usually consists of lots of talking. Caroline likes to point out the buses and jeeps (now that Daddy has one she can spot one a mile away) and repeating things I say. I got a chuckle this morning when we saw a bull-dozer. She tried repeating the word but insisted it was a “big dozer!” That little girl always knows how to put a smile on my face!

7:10am – Pit-stop at Dunkin Donuts for an ice coffee. I knew it was going to cause me to arrive at work a few minutes late but it was so worth it!

7:18am – We arrive at daycare (which is actually Jim’s Aunt who runs a home daycare). We really feel lucky to have a family member take care of Caroline. It’s also nice that other family members periodically stop by as well! I get my big hug and kiss goodbye and I am off to work.

7:34 – I arrive at the office. Here’s my workspace. Nothing thrilling! Of course I’ve got lots of pictures of my little cutie!

Time to get ready for my day!

3:48pm – Leave work to go pick up Caroline. Normally Jim does the pick-ups but he has to stay late today to work with some students after school (he’s a high school tech ed. teacher).

4:00pm – Pick up Caroline from daycare. She’s playing outside when I get there and I’m greeted with a big smile!

4:15pm – Arrive home and the first thing Caroline does is check the mail

and then she wants to go in her swing in the tree in our front yard.

It’s beautiful outside so we do this until Daddy gets home on his motorcycle (or cycle-el as Caroline calls it).

4:30 – 5:40pm – we play outside. First in the sandbox…

and then she helps Daddy wash his motorcycle. She’s in charge of spraying the hose and wow does she get soaked!

5:40pm – We go inside to change into some dry clothes and head off to McDonald’s. No judging please… I was in no mood to start cooking, tired, and very hungry. Those golden arches were the answer to my prayer!

6:00 – 6:50pm – chow time! I guess we worked up an appetite… Caroline gobbled down her entire Happy Meal and still had room for a vanilla cone!

7:00pm – I take a shower  while daddy gets Caroline ready for bed (pajamas, brush teeth). I tend to shower at night to give myself that extra time in the morning.

7:15pm – 7:30pm  Caroline hugs and kisses her daddy goodnight and we go upstairs to her bedroom. She gets to pick out two books to read together. We read the books, giggle, say our goodnight prayer and I tuck her in for bed.

I get my hugs and kisses and walk downstairs. She’s out like a light only a few minutes after I walk downstairs.

7:30pm – I whip out the paints/paintbrushes and finish the painting of a train I had been working on for my friend’s son for his birthday party this weekend.

8:15-9:00pm – finally a chance to spend some time with my husband. We watch TV while I fold the laundry he washed. Now that’s teamwork right?

9:00 – 10:00pm – I decide to go on the computer, catch up on a few things I wanted to do. You know, important things like pinterest (I’ll admit – I love it! I’ve gotten such great ideas and it helps keep me organized!)

10:00 – 10:20pm – I get myself ready for bed, turn the news on (timer set) and drift off to sleep so I can do it all over again tomorrow! Goodnight!

A Day in the Life of a Working Mom: The Stomach Bug Edition

Mar 5, 2012 by thewrightsteph

Well. I suppose we’ve all been here by now, right? Expecting the work day to go “as planned” and the kids? Well, they’ve got something else in mind…

2:51am: I hear Audrey, our nine-month-old, over the monitor. This is a regular occurrence. I check the video monitor to gauge the likelihood of her putting herself back to sleep. Survey says: not a chance. Sometimes all she needs is her binky, but most of the time, she takes a bottle. I know. We’re working on it. Tonight, she takes four ounces of formula and zonks back out.

3:30am: I tiptoe into my two-year-old’s room to cover her back up and then back to bed for me, too.

6:30am: I hear the familiar song coming from Olivia’s room: “Maaaaaaahmeeeeee, Maaaaaaahhhhmeeeee!” About five minutes later, Audrey starts giggling in her room and the day officially begins!

 After diaper changes, Peppa Pig keeps the girls occupied while I get waffles, milk and a bottle ready for breakfast.

7:00am: After Audrey has her bottle, the girls are all buckled into their seats for the rest of breakfast. Olivia has her waffles (WITH SYRUP – as specified by the dictator herself!) and Audrey munches on some Cheerios while I assemble daycare lunches.

I should have known when this happened, that the day was not going to go as well as I had planned…

…and it doesn’t.

7:30am: I’m getting the girls dressed and as I lay Audrey down in her fresh, clean shirt, I notice. The diaper. Too late. It’s on her pajama pants, on her clean shirt, in her hair… ON MY RUG. I gag my way through clean up, wash her up and plop her in the crib while I get Olivia dressed, teeth brushed and ready for daycare. Audrey will be staying home with me.

8:30am: Audrey and I drop Olivia off in her class in our jammies. Stylin.

9:15am: I get Audrey settled for a nap, grab my laptop and the nectar of the gods and get down to work. Today I’m writing  descriptions for a video channel on a new product line for work. It’s honestly awesome to write about products that I believe in, that my own girls will love. And it’s easy because I’m writing for my own demographic: moms of little girls. Bonus!

11:00am: I’m glad I’ve gotten a lot written in the last two hours because Audrey is very clingy once she wakes from her nap. She’s not eating very much and wants to be held whenever we’re not changing an outfit due to a blowout. There are several. I didn’t take any pictures. You’re welcome.

I send a quick note to cancel a lunch with a colleague… thirty minutes before we’re supposed to meet. Whoops.

I check every change to make sure she’s having wet diapers, too. The stomach bug always has me worried about dehydration. She’s taking less formula than usual, but still enough that I feel like we’ll be good. No fever, just crabby.

2:30pm: Audrey falls back to sleep and I throw a load of laundry in, have another cup of coffee and some scrambled eggs (oh yeah, I haven’t eaten yet today!) and get a little more writing done before we pick Olivia up from school.

4:00pm: We arrive at daycare to find Olivia “cooking” in the play kitchen with a friend and not ready to leave, as usual. We do this dance most evenings. After a few minutes, she’s ready to go home with her baby.

4:30pm: We walk in the door, I get everyone’s coats off and settled in the playroom and run upstairs to grab Olivia a snack, since I haven’t even thought about what we’ll eat for dinner yet and as I’m handing her the bowl of pretzels she throws up all over them, me, herself and — you guessed it — the rug.

I go into Disaster Recover Mode: baby scooped up and put into exersaucer (always a bad idea when said baby is having diaper issues, but hey, desperate times, people) to avoid scooting into vomit. Toddler stripped to diaper, clothing used to mop up what I can from the rug then tossed into the washing machine. Begin washing toddler off before putting on fresh jammies and BAM. More puke. The baby is giggling. I’m wondering how much wine we have.

5:30pm: Everyone is cleaned up (I’m thinking the rug is a lost cause at this point) and Olivia is resting with a bowl, watching Bubble Guppies. Audrey starts fussing and I realize that she’s probably hungry. So I bring her upstairs to her high chair for dinner. She drinks a six-ounce bottle and eats some shredded chicken, applesauce and a few Cheerios. As I’m taking her bib off… she throws all of it up.

5:35pm: I call my husband to pick up Pedialyte, Saltines and wine on his way home.

6:15pm: Daddy is home with reinforcements and it’s a good thing because Olivia is whining that she is starving. Her belly “is so happy” and needs a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Yeah. Not happening. We give her some water and a few Saltines. They come right back up.

7:30pm: All of us are washed up and I give Audrey a couple of ounces of Pedialyte while rocking her before bed. She passes out and I put her in her crib and place towels, clean sheets and jammies on her changing table JUST IN CASE.

8:00pm: Olivia drinks some water and keeps it down (this kid will not drink Pedialyte no matter how I try to hide it) while we read Olivia Helps with Christmas. For the millionth time. I put her to bed and set towels, fresh sheets and jammies on her ottoman. Again…

8:30pm: I head downstairs to clean up and regroup. Glass of wine in hand. I fold two loads of laundry, mop the dining room floor, bleach about every toy I can get my hands on and put some lotion on my cracked hands. I’ve used more hand sanitizer today than is likely good for a person.

Luckily, nobody needed the extra sheets or jammies. Audrey wakes at 10:00pm and drinks eight ounces of formula. I spend the rest of the night scared that my decision to let her have it was the wrong one. She sleeps it off and they both wake up a LOT happier.

Monday’s a new week, right?

A Day in the Life of a Working Mom: Giving Thanks

Mar 1, 2012 by vtnative

Reading stories from other working-mom-bloggers over the past two weeks has revealed to me what a busy, stressed, organized, and fabulous bunch we are! My typical day is not that different from other posts that proceeded mine. My time is limited, there is a lot to get done, and I worry about everyday issues, like what to cook for dinner. However, I love the balance that I am able to achieve in my life. I love spending time with my girls, I enjoy my job, I am grateful for the relationships that my daughters have been able to form with other adults and children and the continuous learning that their teachers provide to them.

Writing down all of the events of a normal day has given me perspective; I need to be easier on myself. I accomplish a lot in a normal day, and guess what… does it really matter if my shirt is slightly wrinkled when I get to work? This exercise has illustrated something that I sometimes take for granted, the people in my life who make my life work.

3:30 AM- I wake up. I wake up at this time every morning, and so does my twenty month old daughter. Some days she rolls over, re-adjusts, and goes back to sleep. Other days she fully wakes up and she either comes into our bed or requires some rocking and cuddling before settling back to sleep.

5:30 AM- My twenty month old daughter wakes up and is ready to start her day. A big shout out to my supportive and loving husband who gets up with her in the morning! The two of them are early risers and have developed a wonderful morning routine. This allows me to keep my sanity and look halfway presentable on a regular basis.

6:30-7:00 AM- My three-year old and I join in on the morning fun.

Considering we have two young daughters, our mornings are not overly hectic. My husband and I have smoothed out most of the wrinkles in our morning routine. My husband showers while I dress the girls, wash their faces, and do their hair (which for my three-year old has become a big deal, she does have big-girl hair, after all). We make one lunch the night before and my husband makes the other at 5:30 AM. After my husband is done showering, it’s my turn. I have consolidated my morning routine. I shower, partially blow dry my hair, and put on some make-up in about twenty-five minutes.

By 8:00 AM we are all loaded in the car and headed for school. My husband takes a few minutes for himself after we leave to clean up; he downloads new podcasts to his iPod, checks ESPN.com, and quickly eats a bowl of cereal.8:15 AM- I drop off my youngest daughter at daycare. I love, love, love our daycare facility and teachers. It leaves me with such a sense of security knowing how well cared for my daughter is. They make my life easier!8:45 AM- I drop off my oldest daughter at her Magnet School. She is currently enrolled in a pre-kindergarten magnet school program, and it is phenomenal! My daughter loves school; she actually counts down the ‘stay-at-home’ days until it is time for another school day. Her teachers are fabulous and she has a fantastic group of friends. I am thankful that my daughter was fortunate enough to secure enrollment at this school.

9:00 AM- I arrive at work. I work in a busy, fast paced environment, doing work that I enjoy. I work in an environment that is supportive of working mothers. Our Office Director understands how hard it is to be a working mother. He is an amazing boss who allows me to work a reduced schedule and helps me to achieve balance in my life. I am thankful for Al and I wish that all working mothers could have such a supportive and understanding boss.

Not only do I enjoy what I do, I enjoy who I work with. I’m very fortunate that two of my best lovies work in my office…seeing them and knowing how close they are, always makes my day more enjoyable!

3:30 PM- My work day flies by. I’m off to pick up the crew. First stop magnet school, second stop day care.

4:00 PM- On the way home from school we catch up on the phone with Mee-Moo. She calls to tell new jokes, check in on the girls, or confirm when she is driving down from Vermont to babysit. This past weekend she came down to babysit, did all the laundry, made dinner, and helped us to do a home project. What would we do without her?

4:15 PM- We arrive home, pick up the mail, unload the car, unpack book bags, and do lunch dishes. Now that it is staying lighter out we have time to go outside and play. Two of our favorite things: driving in the pink car and swinging.

5:15 PM- Start dinner.

6:00 PM- My husband comes home and the four of us sit down for dinner. It is very important to me that the four of us have dinner together. We talk about our day and discuss the following day. We always ask our girls two questions: “What is the most fun thing you did today?” and “What is the funniest thing you did today?” The answers we get are priceless! It is not always easy getting the four of us to sit down together, see the picture below; this happened last night while my three year old was trying to scratch her elbow?!?

Bath time follows dinner. Usually, after cleaning up from dinner I head down to the treadmill to get in a run. I know it sounds disgusting, to eat and then work out, but it’s the only time that I can fit in, and it’s important to me.

After bath time the girls watch one TV show; usually, Dora, Bubble Guppies, Little Bear, or Olivia.

7:30 PM- Bed time for our youngest daughter. She is the easiest child to put to sleep. We read two books (currently we are on a big Clifford the Big Red Dog and Elmo kick), take fluoride, snuggle, and then lights out. Some nights she is asleep before I even leave the room. It’s a breeze putting her to bed, of course she makes up for it by waking at 3:30 and 5:30 in the early morning hours.

8:00 PM- Three-year old bed time, which is anything but easy. We read books, the past several weeks we have been working on a sight-word book collection, which she loves! Some nights it takes up to an hour for her to go to sleep. It’s frustrating, but I’m hoping it’s a phase and things will get easier.

9:00 PM- My husband and I sit in bed reading and share a bowl of ice cream. It’s a great way to end the day!