“I love you too, Momma.”

“I love you too, Momma.” We’re sitting quietly at bedtime when he says it. He says it like he’s answering me, but I didn’t say, “I love you.”  Not out loud, anyway. It’s like he knows I say it over and over in my head, and he’s answering me anyway. I love you, I love you, I love you.  Maybe he feels it in the way I hug him. Maybe he knows when I give in to one more book at bedtime. Maybe he can tell when I tolerantly wipe peanut butter off the television. I love you, I love you, I love you, my sweet boy. I love you.  He knows anyway, even if I do tell him a lot.  Only recently is he able to say it back. But I know, too. I know by the smile he gives me when I’m helping him try to pee on the potty. By how excited he gets when I’m the one to wake him up in the morning. I know when he dances along to the radio with me in the car.  I’ve always known. He loves me, he loves me, he loves me. I love you too,...

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Don’t think about it. Just get through it.

About a month ago, I was at the gym. A small group of us was rotating through a circuit of six new exercises in the weight room. When it was my turn on the bench press, the bench was at a different angle, completely changing the exercise – making it feel so much heavier than it did the week before. As I pushed through the reps, the trainer spotting me as I struggled said, “Don’t think about it. Just get through it.” It is not natural for me to find myself at the gym. While now it is just part of my weekly routine, I have never been a talented athlete. But over the years I have recognized the need to keep my body healthy. While none of us knows what the future will bring, when I think about the sedentary life my mother once led, along with her poor eating habits, I know I want to do things differently. So I exercise, in the morning, the time that works best for me. I am home before my children even get out of bed. But they know that I go to my class, working to keep myself healthy and strong. But here’s the thing about the gym. There is no finish line, no medal to collect, no post-race celebration. Once I master an exercise, or sometimes, just get used...

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IEP… what’s the goal?

In preparation for this year’s IEP go-around (which was last week) I filled out some lengthy assessments on my girl.  Everything from her self-sufficiency buttoning her coat to what I want her to be when she grows up.  Woah.  These meetings, they’re not about the upcoming year.  They’re about all the upcoming years.  They’re about meeting the goal. What’s the goal? When preparing for this meeting, I thought a lot about where the best place for her to spend first grade would be. Keep her with her peers, put her in the sped class, or some variation in between.  I’m no...

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A Television Trip Down Memory Lane

The other day, I was having a conversation with my kids about television – I explained how when we were kids, there was no such thing as a “kids’ channel.” Kids’ shows used to be scheduled in the channel lineup between the VHF channels of 2-13, and come on at a certain time each day. If you missed your show, you were outta luck. Saturday mornings (remember Saturday morning cartoons when you’d help yourself to cereal and plop yourself in front of the TV wayyyyyyyyy before your parents woke up?) were really the only time you could sit for HOURS...

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Learning to Roll with It

Confession:  I am living a double life. Last Thursday as I was wrapping up my work from home day, I got a call that I needed to come into the office on my day off because the SEC wanted to speak with me.  It was a “we need to talk” conversation to the tenth degree.  My boss was kind enough to frame it as a request although I knew I didn’t have a choice in the matter.  My day off, or at least the morning, was no more.  I very quickly I had to change gears and… Explain to my pre-schooler that I couldn’t attend his assembly performance because I had to work. Confirm that my husband could ditch work to bring the boys to school, attend pre-school assembly, and stay home with our daughter until I was dismissed. Reschedule kindergarten registration for the following week. That night, in between preparing dinner, helping my newly potty trained daughter with all things undie related, and vigorously washing my hands, I prepared my talking points for the next morning’s meeting.  As you can imagine, I barely came up with a rough draft.  Being that I would have to cram in the morning, I was hopeful to get a good night’s sleep.  But alas, Eliza jumped into bed with my husband and me around 11:00pm.  Zachary was “super scared” at mid night so I bounced over to share a twin bed with him.  Around 2:00am I got...

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A Musical World

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve loved going to musicals.  My parents would take me to every single show the local high school drama club put on.  I got to see How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, Hello Dolly!, Mame, and You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown, all before I could really understand what those plays were about.  It didn’t matter. Once the house lights dimmed, it was magic time.  The singing!  The dancing! The costumes! I loved every minute of it.  (It’s probably where I acquired my love of the spotlight.)  Those high school thespians could have been Broadway-level famous for all I knew.  Every once in a while, my parents and I would also go to the Goodspeed Opera House. This led to several trips to the Bushnell and of course to the actual Broadway when I was a little older.  As I’ve grown into adulthood, I still love going to see musicals. For me, the show never ended at curtain call.  There was always a song left in my heart, running through my mind and passing out of my mouth for days after each show.  I can still hear the soundtrack to Les Miserables echoing in my brain (“Master of the House, keeper of the zoo…”).  I even tried my hand at acting in one of the high school musicals when I...

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A Bad Day

The second I walked into my son Jack’s Pre-K classroom and saw the look on his teacher’s face I knew something was wrong.  She shook her head and said, “He had a bad day.” Ugh.   A bad day.   She went on to tell me that he wouldn’t sit still during nap time, wouldn’t listen when she told him to stop twirling his blanket, didn’t eat his lunch, walked out of the classroom without permission, and ultimately wasn’t allowed to participate in a group activity because of his behavior.  He was at the other side of the classroom...

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Sometimes, You Just Need to Stop and Climb a Tree

Life can be pretty busy sometimes. Work has been unbelievably hectic for both my husband and me lately, and the weekends don’t let up. Between baseball and birthday parties, sleepovers and grocery shopping, before you know it Sunday baths are done, and there I am packing homework in book bags and preparing for the week ahead.  But, amidst all the chaos and ushering the family from one place to the next are moments of pure joy and peace. This past weekend, our town’s little league held opening ceremonies. This year is my daughter’s first time playing t-ball. My son has moved up to ‘coaches pitch’ and my husband is his coach. So, we had to be up, ready, and to the opening ceremony parade by 10AM on Sunday to line up. I knew that helping my kids (and husband) get dressed in uniform and out the door would take longer than expected. I also knew, based on the weather report, that I was going to need some time to get myself ready and to pick out a warm, albeit cute outfit to wear to the opening festivities. I decided to treat myself well and start the day with a long run followed by a deliciously warm shower. My husband treated us to banana chocolate chip pancakes and then we were off, getting on uniforms, hair combed, shoes on, and out the door all by 9:40....

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Mommy is a big sh*t!

  I say a lot of stupid shit.  This isn’t news to me, I spend every day with myself.  Historically, most of my profane rants have been limited to monologues delivered in the privacy of my car, or tirades witnessed only by my dogs, who have been kind enough not to slander me. When I became an auntie, I started trying to watch my mouth and become more of a role model, with moderate success.  Later, as a step-parent, I again tried to curb my potty mouth and behave like a proper adult, as unnatural as it felt.  It’s possible that I didn’t make any discernable improvements in either department.  Most conveniently, however, when one has a child who divides her time between two homes, one can conveniently chalk up all negative behavior to things learned at the Other House.  Now, as the biological mommy of a toddler just learning to talk, I find myself once again considering a swear jar for the grownups in our home. I admit to worrying that my kids will adopt my more unorthodox methods of self-expression and decoration, although, theoretically, exercising our right to adorn ourselves with tattoos or swear (or both!) should not be barriers to success. Being inked up never prevented me from attending an ivy league university, landing a solid job, finding love, or being a good parent. Having said that, if I were interviewing elementary school teacher candidates, and a prospect rolled...

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First Trimester… Try Yours TODAY!

So you’re thinking of getting pregnant? Congratulations! We’d love to offer you an amazing deal on your first trimester. The miracle diet! Drop 20 pounds FAST! You’ve heard of pregnancy for weight gain but how about weight loss? That’s right, when you’re unable to eat, losing fluids through vomiting, and your sweet parasite is getting nutrition from your stored fat, you will shed those pounds. You’ll even lose blood through your nose, mouth, vag, and butt! But don’t worry! You can keep your weight loss discreet with the included BLOATED BELLY! Are you tired of feeling like a human?...

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