Order Up!

Sep 4, 2015 by

I recently came to the realization that I am constantly giving my kids instructions – an endless, 24 hour a day, run on sentence providing them with an order of operations for all of life’s minutia. I tell them to: go to the bathroom, get dressed, eat breakfast, and that’s only in the first 30 minutes that they are awake. I am often giving these directions at an escalated level of volume. (Some may refer to that tone as yelling. It’s a possibility, ahem.) By the time I make it to the end of the day, I am frustrated and scrambling for some throat lozenges and tea. My unscientific calculations indicate that this approach is 17% effective – – on a good day. I tried to switch things up a bit in hopes of consistently getting better results and part of that strategy was to eliminate the constant instruction monologue. I decided to let go and let my older two children be more independent and take more accountability for the tasks they are responsible for completing and their stuff (Good grief, the STUFF). After all, if I ever expect them to be productive adults I have to shut up long enough for them to actually be able to think for themselves.

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And Now…a Word About Menopause

Sep 4, 2015 by

On Monday I went for my annual mammogram. Not my favorite thing, but it’s necessary, right? The tech asked me the usual questions: weight, dietary habits, date of last period… The first two were easy, but the last question threw me a bit – and the answer, two years ago, still surprises me a little.

I officially entered menopause at 46, not unusually early, but definitely on the early side – the average age for American women is 45-55. Although my periods had become irregular around the age of 40, the full impact of peri-menopause didn’t hit until I was 45. The drenching night sweats, mood swings, periodic depression, extreme fatigue, and worst of all, the dread I felt about becoming a “crone.” All these negative feelings, shame, and self-doubt seemed overwhelming. I no longer felt like a vital, sexy woman. I felt old, like the very life force had been sucked out of me along with all my eggs.

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Why I Often Don’t Feel Like an Adult

Sep 3, 2015 by

imadult

I am going to be 38 in six months. Inside I feel like I am 15 (minus the kid, husband, mortgage, job, etc.). Sometimes it scares me to think that I could be 95, in a body that doesn’t work, and still feel this way in my head. Besides just “feeling” 15, there are a number of things that other adults my age know about or do on a regular basis that I am clueless about. I thought a fun way to deal with my existential anxieties would be to list some of my perceived inadequacies.

Knowing about flowers/plants
I can probably count on one hand the number of flowers of which I know the names. It’s even worse for plants. Does “mum” count? Is that a flower or a plant? Every spring and fall, when people around me say things like “I need to plant/trim/buy my [insert flower or plant name here]” I just stare blankly and nod my head like I know what they are talking about. The one house plant I had that I managed to keep alive for some time, I want to say a year, died as soon as I had my daughter. Baby care trumps plant care and I couldn’t manage both. Sorry.

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Grasping

Sep 3, 2015 by

I can’t stop this forward motion. Every day my daughters are growing. Unneeded step stools litter the hall. Audrey can feed the fish by herself and Olivia no longer listens to me read to her. Instead, she reads to me.

Every new school year just reminds me how fleeting their childhoods are. Four and six. Still so little, but weren’t they just a newborn and 22 months old? Spoon-feeding sweet potatoes and mixing formula?

Everyone always says to enjoy every moment and I always feel guilty because there are plenty of moments I have not, do not and likely will not enjoy, but the reason behind the advice rings all too true.

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Ice Cream. You Scream. And I’m not giving it up…

Sep 3, 2015 by

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In honor of back to school week, we have been taking our girls out for ice cream EVERY SINGLE NIGHT FOR SEVEN DAYS STRAIGHT. Yes, you heard correctly. Part of it is not wanting summer to end, and enjoying every last minute of it, and part of it is because, well, I really like ice cream.

Needless to say, it’s probably not the healthiest thing I should be eating every night. But when you are drinking wine on your deck because it’s still so beautiful out, your reasoning is a little off.

Last night as the girls were clearing the dinner dishes, and starting to make their lunches for school the next day (YES, that is one of the good things I don’t mind about them growing older… they now make their own lunches. ALEUEUA.)

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Kindergarten Torture

Sep 3, 2015 by

My daughter had her first day of kindergarten last week. It went exactly how I had expected – smoothly and effortless. The only one with tears in their eyes was me (after I left my big girl in line with her new kindergarten friends and she couldn’t see me). From that day forward it was all sunshine, rainbows, butterflies and unicorns!

The end.

Oh, if only it ended there.

Each day since then has been heartbreaking torture, filled with tears, loss of appetite (she won’t even touch her lunch or snack), and phone calls from her kindergarten teacher telling me she’s spent the day crying. It’s not even kindergarten itself that has her so upset and stressed. It’s the after-school program we enrolled her in to cover the gap between school ending and my husband and me getting out of work. This morning was especially rough. She’s just like her mama with anxiety. It goes right to the belly. That icky, awful, nauseous feeling that won’t subside. She spent this morning gagging before school because she was so ridden with anxiety just thinking about going to her after school program.

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Long Awaited Match Ends in Surprising Turn of Events

Sep 2, 2015 by

Blow2Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to tonight’s event.  We have an exciting matchup this evening that’s been a long time in the making.  These two opponents have what can only be described as an intriguing history with one another.  The lightweight contender, Justus “Juggy” Hendrickson, considered by many the underdog, has begun a transformation in the recent weeks that will make this battle with Jackson “Jackaroni” Hendrickson closer than ever before.  Earlier today I had the opportunity to sit down and talk with each of them and get their thoughts on the upcoming match.

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